Child Separation From Parents – The Borrowed Daughter W/ Sana Brauner

Child Separation From Parents –  The Borrowed Daughter W/ Sana Brauner

Video Transcript

welcome to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective podcast where we meet experts from all walks of life to learn their intrinsic motivations so that they can share it with the world what do we have in store today stay tuned to find out more good morning good evening good afternoon everybody out there in podcast land you are in tune to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective this is Hamza and I am David and today we have our wonderful guest sana Branagh she is from Vienna and she’s going to talk about a really good inspiring story she was in the in the 2004 tsunami and had a lot of change if you will I’ll let her explain in a greater detail but a lot of change and I think this podcast is going to be about perspective David and I have been talking offline about oh man I was stuck in traffic today or my flight was late you know these smaller things that we kind of gripe about and son is going to talk about something that’s happened to her and very inspiration I believe without further ado calling from Vienna we have sana to our podcast welcome sana hi good to be with you thank you for inviting me thanks a lot yes thanks later yes our pleasure and you’ve written a book called the borrowed daughter and we’ve had people come on and it’s taken a year to write a book it’s taken five years to write a book it’s taken a lifetime to write a book and you you’re I think interval is probably an ongoing living and breathing document that was actually published recently I like for you to before going into your book talk about the purpose of writing your book mm-hmm okay to write a book vows for me to there are several reasons and I would say the first main reason wood it was my therapy so it and I gave my story a meaning by writing the book which I feel can help many people to understand although they are story because my story is my but I feel like everybody of us come with a purpose and have their own story but sometimes we forget and we get caught up in like you said like small things and then we think it’s great it’s something big so one thing is like okay it was for me a therapy the other thing is also I was chief editor of a newspaper so writing is something what is always I used to and I got really familiar with so to sit down and write the book was any of the long process I started one year after the happening and it took me ten years later almost Celsius later to finish the book actually I’m wondering with a background as a chief editor of a newspaper I believe you’re taught to write objectively about any story not to put any emotion to it and something you’ve gone through was definitely close to your heart so was that part of it where you’re constantly editing from a parent’s perspective versus a chief editors perspective um do you ask about being a chief while I was the chief editor all by wracking about what what is the question yeah I’m trying to frame your process for writing the book as a tall editor of a new neighbor you pretty much have to write objectively right for any type of subject but this is so close to you was it a challenge to write it from a parent’s perspective versus constantly using your teeth ever had em you know it the point is there is no choice in a way of when you go something like this you you feel yourself just in pain and there is no way that you can for me both like these I don’t know maybe it would be different but for me it was like actually I stopped working as a chief editor I stopped totally I had also my the father of Alexander is the son and Alexandra need to the talk the daughter so it was for also like really like we had to stop to make a kind of new orientation because it happened actually in such a dramatic way the change in our lives you know that and then starting the book just to answer your question it was totally only emotionally it was absolutely just I I just wrote I was while I was writing I was not any more Schumann I was just a Priya who was going to connect and to really write every ever it was it’s very emotional it’s really from a parent who um yes who goes through unbelievable pain at the same time with a belief you know that there is in everything what happens in your life there must be a bigger picture behind it there is no way so it’s kind of like I helped myself by connecting to this higher power and I got so much guidance so that’s why I all over can say today like you know other is I feel I really have to give something absolutely and I like to talk a little bit about which II kind of led into it where you said that life is bigger than what we can imagine in many respects if you don’t mind going through how we we have a typical day I wake up I’m going to have breakfast and then get the family ready and I believe you’re on vacation so would you like to walk us through that day or right we could manage it from any way you want to right so the point is we have been on holiday in a five-star hotel in carlac it’s a beautiful beach close to a national park so it was a little more remote you know it was not that much developed touristic ly it was and we have so we it means like how much the father of my ex-husband Alexander death time almost six-year-old Alexandra Anita at that time two and a half year old the daughter so my sister with her son who is 8 years old my mom and then we had friends with their children 16 year old and the girl and 23 or 24 the boy so it’s sunny day you just had Christmas the night before it was like beautiful celebrating you know it’s like and we just take it easy have breakfast you know like the restaurant the restaurant is at the beach so it’s like beautiful view you’re just like everything is fine and so everybody decides to do something different you know somehow so it won’t pen o’clock in the morning you know and the father of the other one he went to a jeep safari and he’ll moat with the boys my sister son and our son we went you know just swimming it was the pool from this hotel was at that time the biggest pool in Asia was a huge fuel pool like like channels you know it was like going on totally around every bungalow and somehow and you could go from the room direct if you are on the ground floor in the in the sitting pool and you would just sing to the front to the Beach and you know go back so it was like really beautiful so he went you know ready to the room by warper sitting there and I was a little bit sitting down with my sister and my mom and a little daughter and so they’re chatting had a good time and I said you know what I will go bring all our streams huge because we didn’t did they have the bikini was up and as it takes like almost ten minutes you know to because it was a really big hotel you know to to walk to the room I said you know you just stay here and I go bring everything and I come back with the boys and helmet on yeah so I go to the room as I rise in the room and I go on the balcony where the pool is in front of me and the boys are opposite on kind of an island in the pool you know it made like and they had like a slide they would ever been there and how much it was just in front in the water and I just said you know let’s just go take our swimming stuff and go to the beach and I was not you know finishing actually dissented suddenly you know from nowhere it was just nowhere I think you know there is water coming just walk in and it’s like so fast everything happens we just there is nothing like time anymore and I got plugged back in the room and in the next moment the room is full with water you know and I just you know see I it’s interesting in the book I really explained it very very slow and detailed what everything is happened because it was like somehow the time it ever happened in Idaho thousands of seconds and at the same time I could realize well I’m in room the room is full is water you know there is no escape but the dead next moment I got thrown out it was so you know huge the massive water and the power hit a car it’s just unimaginable and I got some of foam art and but being in the water not knowing where I am you know not flowing you just know like when you’re in a washing of me machine and you got pop and your whole body back down you have more wave where it’s upwards down and I just try and try to get all try to get out no way no way so suddenly you know you’re just in water in the water and you just feel like okay that’s it you know that’s that’s it and then I had this kind of near-death experience well I could just not do any I had just to give up and to let go it’s like okay that’s the way how you die and that’s what it is so I just you know there was nothing that was more thinking it was like but at that moment right now I something happened like I went it was like two saunas it was and around myself I got just I was in a different dimension it was like everything got quiet everything got peaceful silent it was like totally you know me and nobody else just silence and and then I hear this voice and it’s my voice asking myself sonna do you want to live and I’m like yes if I can hear myself I’m doing yes you know and just having said yes everything started again you know it’s like I get washed and I get us thrown I get it get loud because it’s some point you distill it in the water but it’s loud it’s loud and you just like and at some point I get somehow I’m on the surface of the water and the thing is like I look up and then I see the hotel is around half a mile I’m out of the hotel and in into into towards the land and the next foot it is I there is like a van a big track you know beside me floating in the water and I grab the mirror you know decide you know that and and just you know just dressed a little because I was like this is this is the end of the world that time it was like for me like there is no way because I mean you on holiday have a beautiful time and just like and so this is where actually I came out of the water and the first thing I don’t know from where it came somehow I had to express and just to say it out loud like thank you and not that he really understood why or whatever but at the end what happened it’s like just to make it short because it’s really it’s like they sometime in a later you know after being while out not having no clue what’s happening trying you know to come on a tree to hold myself and to climb somehow out of the water because I had to let go that tracks because in the mirror because it started to sink in to flood away so I had to look for something else you know so I didn’t because I was you know the water was bringing me to walk like a forest and I was like okay this speed and everything I will get smashed in this old tree and ever so I kind of help myself grab you know stuff what was hanging around trees you know bad televisions cause everything I dropped on something to just not being swapped anymore and climbed up you know to see and to get a little bit rest out of the water to do something but it was really very I was like to know anyway I just make it look at the end of the day we we are here how much my sister son Alexander and I saw my sister you know I I came back my sister I could see her life and she was brought with the ambulance you know or to the to somewhere we had no clue where to put people and I did not know where my mom is and I did not know where example it is and the only thing what I got as a message this started I realized later on actually with this happening of myself being just for a moment on the other side that voices came to me and it’s like you know your mom took this as a possibility to go and for Alexandra Anita it came like there is nothing what you can do now but know just to let you know it’s going to be taking care of her so this is somehow so we got up you know in the mountains all these other people and then you know we think that they my mom they found about the body half year later and they found it before but I had identifying something and V and Alexandra Anita is missing and I see a really missing because through many many you know other different reasons what I’m working in the book I know that she’s a life know that that’s what I mean I can’t even imagine going through that it was just interesting following along with you as you have explaining it would sleep through many questions one of which is the movie hereafter by Matt Damon have you seen it I did not want to on purpose because I want I have in my mind also a movie so I won’t just to be in my you know everything free because I have visions pictures how I would like to see it but I people told me about people told me about this movie yes mmhmm yeah it’s very similar in that not given away cuz you know on your own time you may watch it but the lady was a she was a news anchor and she was in the tsunami she had a near-death experience and for like totally change afterwards so it was kind of like you could see you know they’re in a nice posh hotel and see the waves happening is this exactly is really surreal and I can imagine you know going through it and not wanting to relive it but I’m very close to what you’re saying especially from a spiritual standpoint you know of you having that question the individual question as you mentioned you said well I was just me asking that question do I want to live and you can only hear your voice so we were you imagining at least for your daughter and your mother that they went through similar scenarios that you had gone through mmm you know it’s difficult it’s kind of difficult to answer because if I feel like every every being on this earth comes with a unique story and I don’t know if if they went to but for my mom who I know that passed away it must have be a very you know a very kind of shocking from attic you know passing away because it’s unexpected it’s not like you are prepared for so whatever you know you’ve also being you know fake or having somehow to go or just it was just for me it is like second you know it was it’s just you are and so I don’t know I don’t know if they take special my daughter it’s in the book I explain a lot about her in a way hard how her whole being you know is was already these two and a half years she learnt me so much it was just unbelievable and even people like in the office when I brought her to the office you know and some of them said like you know there was one guy who was you know he was a hiker just being out in the mountains you don’t have no clue was not interesting children but he said you know me sana next time you bring her you know you really have to tell me because I need a picture I need so much to make a picture of her I mean that this face is just peeking always to me you know and it happened to so many other people the couple who went with us on holiday being they just said now we are going to have a two weeks just for ourselves you know it was like and the Sun the 24 your sandal of them you know he passed away in the room beside me so you know life is just yes it just for me why I am although I wrote the book it’s just like to remind that there isn’t to prepare yourself in ever more going to be connected to something to which helps you through when it comes in is when you really are in the crisis then it’s kind of like sometimes people just if they are not kind of connected to something higher than what we think that we are they become to this possibility to see themselves as a victim of the situation which I honest will never ever felt what about the other side of it where we have survivor’s guilt you know you have something major that happens and you’re like well why am I still here and it is the other side where people feel like well do I feel special or you know why I they have the same choices that I did I would do the same thing they did and why am I still here did you go through that period I never had this questioning myself because I felt like only like okay you know short hasta you I felt from the beginning on when this happened somehow after the after the next day’s and absent I felt all that like to know I part of me you know was being like you know it’s just you are pain your whole body is pain there is nothing what can it’s just like what is you know you have your mind is going crazy because it’s like where is she what’s happening with you who is with her who is taking care what I mean it’s like you you you just like you can’t go to sleep you won’t you wake up and you feel like what there is another day what is virginal I mean is like boom it’s like your whole part and then which is soak up in this whole struggle of somehow and at the end then then it does another part who is like observer of the whole situation and it’s like it’s this kind of what I said like the player who II think every moment it’s like guide me and surrender with every M inhaling I was like please please guide me please please God it was it was just like and thank you for helping and help thank you for guiding me it was always like please thank you is inhaling an ally it’s like surrender surrender to something and it was interesting how much guidance I really got also how people came in life you know to support you know so I went a little back from your because like to tell you like I think there is not to compare my story is less or more worse than another story it’s I feel it’s a different story that I’m carrying and I think and I think also what I you know Helen I believe you know what I believe it’s many crazy then you tell when I tell it but I’m so sure you know that everybody of us comes with how to call like you know like a birth letter what we ourselves wrote before we came what kind of experiences in this life you are going to make and we of course you know just kind of you know forget or like you know don’t remember because we get to be in life but I’m I’m so much sure that everybody comes with already written stories how does it how does it sound to you well I have asked you if you’re familiar with the author Robert Schwartz no no I know okay you’d really like it and I’ll put it in a notes and I send it to you as well he had written this book called your souls plan and okay in the book I’ll use one example so there’s this young lady and she was deaf she couldn’t hear and though she had gone to see him because what he he would do you have people like dr. Brian whites who would do past life regression something like that this wasn’t necessarily a past life regression this was just for this argument or for the book that there is your past life and then there’s a quote unquote meeting that you have with your soul group and so you are sitting and you’re having a meeting for lack of a better term with all these people that you’re going to incarnate and as you were saying you’re going to oh yeah 20 I’m going to go through this opposed to that so he had done this with the lady that was was deaf so in her previous life they did go back to her previous life and her previous life she was a child and her mother and father always argued I mean they were not just your typical spats they were kind of violent and so at the end she was in the and hiding in the closet because it was one of those big argument flare-ups again and her father wound up shooting her mother and killed her and so in her mind at that time she was like I don’t want to hear anything anything right because that just because she had that tied to that scene of noise being violent and so by going through that amendment in the any room when she was having this meeting with her soul group she said okay miss life I’m going to or I plan to be deaf and not here and goes through a number of other things and the person or the entity that was her father and her previous life stood up in the meeting and said there’s nothing that I can contribute that for you to learn in this life and so he sat down he didn’t incarnate in this in her current life and so I totally agree with you with that with that what you were saying that there may be some level of pre cognition but we forget about and there are some pre-planning so that we forget about as well and so I I’ll send it to you because I think I think you’ll really like it because it’s it’s interesting if into your story of how time just Stood Still so it seems like Khan doesn’t really exist when when you’re actually going through something mmm yes I I think you become you become everything at that moment oh you know every dimension and why I’m seeing all the about you know that become already with a written story is because like some months later I got a contact you know with a lady which is living here in an atom city you know like two hours from yeah she is a professor of music German she wrote many school books you know for German and she’s an actors actually and she’s like playing and then singing still being onstage and everything and her hand started to write forty years ago and she wrote the book of the leading hand because for 40 years she wrote letters from the other world from the spiritual world to people and who came to her for help you know people who had sick children you know people who somebody that whatever was very very very selfish a very hard situation for this and I got in contact with this lady and the message that I got I just was hard to agree you know for me out let’s hit accept because I hardly wanted the girl back I just like I was I mean I had been searching helmet and I went for half a year back and forth you know we went to Thailand coming back went to Thailand coming back we went I don’t know sue from house to house I experienced so many people slice you know you don’t when you knock on the door and there opens you know somebody and it’s a mother who shows you with you don’t speak the same language but she shows you have a picture you know of your daughter in the hand the other lady shows the picture with the son who died in the tsunami and it was so you know so many experiences and so did you know connections and at the same time you know so we did a lot a lot a lot because it was for me like I have to do everything possible everything possible because the messages have been so people after that so her on a on a market in a village Reba you know Wendy because we have put you know pictures or there and vision so and this lady told like you know she came through you and to be for you and to make a big change in yours and helmets you’re both life but her purpose over is to be with with another family in another country and at that time when it tried that you’re going to meet again it’s going to happen and there is nothing but you can force or do nothing it’s just to allow that it is the way it is I was very hard for me because the let us be God and I have these letters in the book over they have been this lady she did not know me before and she wrote about how more than myself I like like she’s knowing my whole life so and she said you know this was your deal before you before you incarnated that you’re going through this and everybody of us has a different lesson here absolutely one other thing since you didn’t see the Matt Damon movie they it’s multiple stories and how they all we all come together and how we’re all connected and I bring it up because I have a twin sister and when she was pregnant you know she had a lot of false alarms but one day that she had thought she was really going to have a baby I absolutely knew and then you know my niece was born and so I think we all have some connection especially someone really close to us to know if they’re here or not and so if you still have that feeling if it sounds like it goes right along the lines of what you were told an automatic writing session yeah you know yes that’s I am so sure about that there is one day it’s just you know bedtime now you know so many years later it’s it’s easier you know to speak about but I knew that time and it happened I knew you know I have to give this I have to make some how I was like you know the question for me is like how can I grow through a crisis like this how can I really you know give like the promise I gave to God or to myself to maja whatever you know then I’m going to come back with being being bigger than I came you know and that’s why feel somehow you know it’s been all so busy world you know we give like well you two things which are kind of yes you know just so you know well maybe in that moment it’s this but then we just really lose ourselves in this third dimension you know in a way of and that’s I feel like I would like to know to give em what reconnect again with you really are and life then becomes like you know this is different I feel myself like a bridge you know when I wrote this book it was like you know giving a bridge from the surf to the fifth dimension like how can you how can you walk from this to there and go back and forth and accept because it’s not that we should like all the body is not important no yes I mean I became a yoga teacher I’m an author a yoga teacher now and did lots of other things because I do appreciate life actually I want to go back for a second when you that particular day and you know when you I guess we’re in the waiting room you were between dimensions and you were asked this question do you want to live and so there are some schools with thought that you know before we incarnate there are up to five there may be more but five major times in our lives where or ask that question and you can either decide yeah I’m done with this life or no I’d like to continue and I wanted to get your tank if you’ve heard anything like that because you know like you said with your mother she took that as at the time she may have been asked that question she said you know what I’m good for this life and see you next time around are you familiar with with any of that thought process yes I think yes I think this was for me like a door to go to leave but you know what I felt and also the next year’s to cause ourselves you know so much in it sometimes I was just like I there have been many times afterwards that I felt like I would just like go I would just like go but then you know but me held back was you know my son I just like no that’s not fair you know that’s that’s no way that you can just say yeah because you have to make even this choice but I’m I’m sure of that what you are saying I believe in this that we have this you know timeframes where we can choose either to continue or to leave I believe this yes mm-hmm yeah let’s talk about our sibling or not our siblings but children right there’s a school of thought that children choose their parents and so they before they incarnate they’re in that same meeting room they’re like you know what I want to live with this person because this is what I’m going to learn in this life or I’m going to learn multiple realities and what have you thought about it from it’s just really interesting of you were no one could ask answer your question do you want to live you have this you only heard your voice no one else’s way in so are you have you tried the exercise of you know other people in your family and it didn’t necessarily have to be the tsunami but just you know in life experiences since then where they may be going through something and you’re like oh well that’s their life plan you know as I speak open about how I think I would say in in in my family you know that people would believe that we come with something like this and that we create that we do have yeah this kind of concept about life but none of them who would have been in them in there in the situation where they had to decide hmm here’s another part of that question so you know most of us that we’ve interviewed in our podcast is just in regular life it seems that some people can get this message really easily and others will get the what we call the spiritual 4×4 where something is interpreted as catastrophic to learn that lesson and what is your take looking back because you mentioned a number of times in this podcast about letting go and so there’s always a conversation of freewill versus destiny where we think we have control until something like this happens what it was your take now as as far as people’s willingness to understand their experience on their own time versus allowing everything to happen realizing you’re part of a bigger picture yeah I had actually turned I had the kind of thinking about this but I had also to change it because I realized that I would judge people who would not accept that to grow you know to everything makes a sense whoo-hoo just like let’s say like this who would before they you know make a choice to the better and goes through pain they would either accept to create not conscious but still you know a thickness because denying to go through this and for me it was like I came you know several people in confrontation you where like you know I so much believe that everything what happens to me to you too everybody is has a meaning and wants to tell you I mean it’s like it’s like so her cell phone is speaking to you because otherwise it has to give you a situation it has to give you sometimes a sickness it happening whatever and it’s kind of like okay how what are you choosing us and I realized that so many people choose to be you know more kind of a victim because it’s easier it’s like I don’t want to take responsibility for this it’s it’s like and I had actually I’d work myself to accept that that’s just a choice you make and it’s it’s not about me just because I make different choices to charge judge a lot because of their but I can see that so many people would like to go there twist keep pain yeah yes but you can’t you can’t at the end you can’t there is nothing but you can escape you know I have a very sort of happy but I had a very sweet story but I when I went to India to learn how to suffer proper I went through them because yes it’s like I I had really I did not know how to transform you know the pain in myself so I went to a it’s called an oneness University and there you actually learn really how to get this this information out of yourself because it’s in your body and you can’t if you if you’re not willing to sit with the emotion it’s just going to fall because inside you whatever you do it’s not going to and so I really learn there how to suffer proper money do you get a diploma for suffering properly yeah it was really interesting you know because you know it’s it’s it’s kind of it and then you know it’s just to fix the emotion so many tell us you know you can’t um you can’t if you can’t feel you can’t heal no but so that’s something for anything you know we are so complex life because then you hear this and that’s true that everything from the time when you and mothers warm until six seven years everything what happens is your program and you’re going to you know bring up in your life you know all these toys you will create toys to heal these you know what you experience through that time and but you know we we just grow up and be staying you know we become adults but never mature you’re saying that to a bunch of homie so we know that guys don’t mature as quickly is going to do I didn’t say anything let me ask you because third dimension is enough you know another school of thought is that third dimension is full of contrast so you experience the contrast to know what you really want and when you go up a degree let’s say don’t fit the mention that so it’s not as dentist or dimension so what’s your focus focusing on manifests a lot quick a lot more quicker a lot a lot more quickly and so third dimension is actually a very graceful dimension because like you mentioned with a what’s your 40 an example of were repeating what we’ve learned from birth to seven and we get so many opportunities to relive and learn from it I sometimes say that our got our Guardians laugh at us and or they have a – popcorn why they watch us stumble through the world because this is what we chose to experience and so there is no way to really judge anyone because who knows how many times it took for us to get a certain lesson right all right mm-hmm yes that’s what’s that’s totally true and I don’t think in in this fifth dimension there is no time so it’s you know it’s like like you say like okay this higher they said they will Wendy kind of would say come back home you know it’s like I don’t think that it’s just everything will be good everything whatever we did do the good you know it’s like we made it hey we hit it went through it you know somehow but it’s just just so sad that being here on earth it feels like it feels like when I go on the street and it’s so touching and you look at people and you feel like they are just robots out there you know mm-hmm it’s just some numbness there is none that there is this connection between the two that the mind and the heart it’s like wow it’s just everything and that’s kind of like wow it’s just uh you know you’re sad that it’s because it could be different you know but yeah it’s just big yeah I think it’s changing well what if it what if it’s a hangover I mean yet we’ve all in our lives if we’re honest have had a night of excessive drinking in the next morning oh my goodness I drink too much I mean we’re not in the third dimension when we make these decisions so we’re like yeah throw that in there to go inside car accident throw in the air pan crash you know and then we’re we’re in third dimension like what did i do as mike said i really sign up for it yes it’s exactly because I don’t want more talking my hat you know I just I don’t want these concerts to listen in my head I just want to listen to just and it’s yes you’re right so you know but then it’s like you then you go up this high it’s like okay you know hmm how much do we really step into life in the in the moment of whatever happened because for me they came at the end it’s like okay we all look for happiness joy and businesses and that’s okay too but at the end is like if you have pain I think in the spiritual world with where you have no body you know it’s like they would even appreciate a hole does pain feel how the sadness feel how the Hawthorne feel no it’s like ah and when I realized yeah that’s the point that I was thinking about this you know at the point and I just look now all the different to these other qualities you know it feels like wow you know it’s there is a possibility I just can’t go through these and I can’t tell if I have I can make you know I can pick them it’s possible to make this from going further to feel joy because you embrace balls and don’t like okay I just want to be on this side exactly it one those lines I want to ask you about your guardian angels because you’re talking about letting go and so there’s I listen I used to listen to a lot of Abraham and there were some instances where they were talking about s they’re saying well no I’m right and she was arguing for her limitation and their answer was well we don’t go down to that level so you know as a human you’re allowed to go down as far as you want as far as victimhood or righteousness or a feeling that your being right or being dogmatic but it’s such a low dense feeling that your guides don’t go down to that level so I’d like for you to talk a little bit about how to the scenes I mean I can hear just in this hour so much growth that you’ve experienced what’s life like now where you once upon a time so you had so much control and now it seems like you have more the art of allowing happening for me it’s now the play between the conscious play in a way of when I want to achieve something I like and enjoy to fit and to go in the fifth dimension and to create it there and to see when it’s going to happen like here so it’s like being really the creator in inner body you know being human and uh and then just like playing this really like conscious created being and for me it’s like now I just although I see it’s like I’m so I’m so grateful you know for having her to see Helen yet having a beautiful bed at night where I can have a safe home and something so other things become so just being grateful to see my son and to watch him playing soccer to look at his eyes and just to see him without expecting that he has to achieve something just to be to enjoy his present or other you know friends presence – it’s kind of like wow you know its own it becomes bit I look more I would say I look more from from from my heart now to people because after the tsunami I was so much in pain but you could not really see it and I was thinking you know people will tell me wow I would not even think about it you went through something like this because you don’t look like and so for me it was like what you know you don’t know when you look into somebody I was you know after the test you never know what anybody is going really through it’s not the outside you know just accept you know and just like embrace I mean try as much as you can would you see beautiful without bringing your story and making a like yeah you know just creating a story about somebody no and this was a really big lesson for me you know to look different in to other people and to just you know be and then and enjoy them enjoy them and really you know enjoy a lot of holiday like the life itself you know the nature going out being everything everything you know all these different seasons we have you know so they scatter back getting up in the morning being grateful that the body can move you know that just to feel and you shower to feel really that shower you know and somehow just two small things become so nice and then so I’m just grateful now my heart is way much warm then because before it was just a busy woman I was career concentrated and so and yeah let me ask you the other side of that so if you go to a nice restaurant and you order and you’re sitting there and you’re enjoying the scenery what have you but it seems like the food is taking too long right you want to go back there and you’re like where’s my food so I want to ask you when you you’re creating in the third dimension but it’s not manifesting in the third dimension as quickly as you would like uh-huh I I’m not always patient no a lot but you know the point is the difference is I still observed it or not it’s also when you stand in the supermarket and there is such a line you know to the catch and I’m like damn you know but I can see okay somehow you feel that it’s just kind of but I’m not yeah yeah it’s just again it’s not it’s not that you know when I was hanging on this on this tree there you know will you know being naked every singles gone you know I was really like literally I had you know nothing my life you know they are and that’s what and then I promised myself you know sana there’s nothing in the world there’s no situation which where you can feel like embarrassed or something because look at you you know so uh but the point is after a while you forget actually and you ya get caught in this in this emotion somehow it and still it’s a training you know it’s still in other but it was if it was interesting to me when I fell okay you promised you something self but then you you just yeah it’s yeah it’s nothing challenging yeah it’s life always know I love it and you know you have to be light-hearted about some of these things because you know we’re we’re laughing and some people may not be in that space only listen to the podcast like this would be so serious it made me think of a car totally who wrote you know the power of now and he’s like shut up be quiet I’m trying to meditate like it totally takes you out of the message trying to get ya with yeah we’re not taking ourselves too seriously here yes and at the same time you know when you are really when somebody you can see somebody is in pain I have a deep respect because at that moment every kind of smart advice you know if it’s not so helpful I mean for me the most helpful woman somebody will just be the ionics you know embrace my pain and that’s it when they told me to take away that I really liked was you know when he went back to Thailand you went to other places it sounds like you had some group support to of people that would had gone through something similar and I do want you to that it kind of glossed over it but how important do you think it is to actually speak with a group that may be going through something similar well I had a ton of really group who went to something to me it was just like because I went to Thailand to search you know to look up in the mountains you know for the girl too and there is nothing but you can I had somebody who was a translator interpreter you know who would because I don’t speak Thai and they would just say ok you know I would knock on the doors I would go there because I got you know my I was kind of guided but this is where I connected with people in a way who went and lost almost everybody in carlac at that time lost a family member because this was that place where the people went to find work all the people who have been in this area or you know living they look you know at some point to be whatever they could you know in the hotels you know from every level of possible you know work and so almost every family in this area lost somebody so this is where you could really you know without without speaking the same language but you are you could see we are just emotional beings that’s what it isn’t you know and there is something with connectors it doesn’t matter where we come from but nish national is belief doesn’t matter you know it’s just that at the end it’s it’s what or how you speak from your heart to the other person yes and one thing I like about some TV shows they have here in the States is they have this thing called separated at birth and they have siblings or twins and they were separated at you know less than five years old and 40 years later they reconnect and it’s really interesting they have the same type of spouse they were the same type of clothes and so what it seems the overall overall message is that anything that’s missing is temporary either in third dimension or beyond and so you know I’d like to I wanted to at least highlight that because you still have a feeling that she’s alive so there will be some point where you to reconnect mmm yes thank you for this Thanks hmm absolutely we are I top of the hour know I wanted to leave on that high note and I also wanted to give you the time to talk about your website and where they can get the world order book is it an audio form as well no it’s even not in English available it’s just in German it’s already translated but I’m now just you know looking for a publisher and you know have some context but not yet so and it’s in its german-speaking people is everywhere you can buy it in a bookstore on Amazon and on my website I have a little bit about how I see the world you know and kind of my way of looking at things and yeah the link to the book but it’s just like I said German and I hope to have it as soon as possible in English because you know I believe it was like for me it’s like when I give the book out and then well you know can kind of because when you read the book you transform that’s for sure but it was like it’s a gift to the world and universe I like I get a gift from the universe and that’s going to be my daughter absolutely absolutely well you have just been in tune to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective this is Hamza and I made sana it was a pleasure please stay in touch with us let us know when you get the book in English translation will definitely push it out for you thank you for having me with you and thank you also to your audience for you know being there and lots lots of greetings from Vienna thanks a lot bye thank you thank you bye-bye thanks again for checking out another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeless perspective podcast please check us out on our website at intrinsic motivation dot life where you can click on the speak pipe button and leave any suggestions for a future podcast that you’d like us to cover also check us out on our social media sites we have a YouTube channel Facebook page iTunes podcast in addition to stitcher and Google Play all under intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective check you out next time have a great day listen to intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective on radio public it’s a free easy-to-use app that helps listeners like you find and support shows like ours when you listen to our show on radio public we receive direct financial support every time you hear in episode experience our show and radio public today by listening to the show linked in our episode notes and thank you for listening you

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