Excuses For Work? Are Excuses Holding You Back?

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welcome to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective podcast where we meet experts from all walks of life to learn their intrinsic motivations so that they can share it with the world what do we have in store today stay tuned to find out more [Music] good morning good afternoon everybody out there in podcast land this is another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeless perspective this is hava and my own baby and today we are going to mix it up a little bit I’m going to go into my old corporate routes or business routes we have a our guest as she is an organizational psychologist she has been presenting concepts complex business concepts over the years has a doctorate at the University of Virginia she has it worked at the MBA program at the Darden School there as well has feedback from tens of thousands of participants who have worked in her program throughout the years and she is also the author of woulda coulda shoulda rapid results no excuses without further ado I like to welcome dr. Margaret Bradley to the podcast welcome thank you it’s a pleasure to be here absolutely.i I was excited about speaking with you because it’s really interesting that in 2018 there is a lot of finger-pointing and no one is taking ownership for if something goes wrong in business or life and so I was really interested in speaking with you since your book is talking about what it could have shoulda seems like people are making excuses even more so than ever and wanted to get your professional opinion on the current landscape of finger-pointing I’m delighted you asked that question I’m glad that people are making excuses even more than ever it’s really led to the book what a good a shoulda because I listened to people around me and the excuses and I listened to myself and I realized that really one thing that everybody can do that would make them more successfully successful right away without spending any time or any money is to stop excuses where where do you think if we can kind of go back in time because it seems there was a time where there was more ownership and decision-making and now you know it seems like it’s the total opposite so everybody’s pointing finger that at multiple people where do you think this started well some of the reasons that I think might have been behind that are a lot of decisions now seem to be made by committees and is easier to pass the blame and I also think that a lot of people are not in their position as long as they used to be so it’s easier to blame their predecessor or turn a mess over to the successor with excuses it’s not my fault it wasn’t in the budget the time wasn’t right all those things that we hear today and have heard for a while but I think you’re right we hear them and read about them more than ever what do you think yeah would you talk like just for refresher for you know doing your job would you kind of throw all that in there – I would and pressure for immediate results and short-term thinking again I think that people are in jobs the short excuse me that the tenure is shorter in jobs and I think that all this contributes to excuses oh the and it’s that something that seems so obvious to stop making them but it’s also something that we’re not taught maybe by our parents in fact it’s interesting that the book woulda coulda shoulda was really written originally for people in leadership positions but I found that a lot of people have decided that well I might have an interest in excuses but I really want to stop the excuses of the people who are around me my family my team my organization so I think that maybe hopefully there’s more of an awareness although that hasn’t stopped people has it well let’s kind of let’s go back because you tell a multiple position so you’ve seen the different empowerment if you will on each level so if you can kind of walk through what what was it like with you know people are on the front line you know the day to day maybe customer service all the way up to the boardroom I think one of the things that I really have enjoyed most about my career is just as you said I’ve interacted with everybody from employed new employee orientation sessions through senior executives and I think that one of the things that I learned again it led to the book was it when I looked at the ones the new ones the experienced ones the seasoned ones are the ones who are just in there trying real hard to do the right thing the number one thing in all of those people who are participants in classes or members of my team or I’ve been members of theirs the number one thing associated with being wildly successful is they didn’t make excuses and I also think looking back on my my career some of the people who were less likely to make excuses or the ones who had been matched or matched themselves to being in the right job they had a position that allowed them to use their strengths and I also spent some time looking at different excuse styles that people have and I noun that those styles give you an indication of how frequently you make excuses and what your attitude toward excuses are and for example but the three styles are excused Conquistador which would be well-suited to somebody who sort of a I’ll make the plan work the plan and a military environment or a hierarchical environment no excuses let’s get it done and the second one is a situational accuser who really says their favorite words are it depends and that’s ideal for somebody in a research or a customer service background you want them to have empathy for the customer and you also want them to not make an excuse but figure out a reason behind the problem so that they can solve it and the excuse optimizer is a little bit more Cavalier and probably not as good a fit in a lot of business environments that’s basically someone who would be flexible well actually they’d be a great fit for a creative environment so I think that the answer to your question is that matching yourself to the right environment and that environment would be one that uses your strengths and that matches your a few style is think of it for a moment I’m not sure what your strengths are but I know that I would like to think that some of mine are communication and creativity but don’t ask me to be the treasurer of your organization that’s what I’m going to start making excuses because it doesn’t latch what I do best so let me let’s stay there with the strong suit with the communication and creativity but when you said the Treasury where a word I just remember in some environments you’re told to take initiative and you may be or you’re dressing and you’re thinking about the next position so if you come in as customer service then you know you may one day want to be in leadership so you may not have the strength at that time but what do you think about taking the end for opportunities that come up where you can grow into a string I think that’s great I think that that’s probably the key to success because when you think about it another key would be don’t make excuses plunge in the number one reason that people make excuses is fear you know I haven’t done it before or maybe I’m not sure that I can but to plunge in and as you said so well take initiative and I think another big factor is knowing what you want and if you know that you’re want to expand your horizons or have more responsibility it’s a great motivator and a great reason to take those risks I recommend small ones incremental ones and setting yourself up for success but definitely taking initiatives and if someone gives you an opportunity to be on a team or try out new ideas or initiate a project go for it don’t make an excuse when you are talking about being in part of the hiring process and in the other part at the beginning you are talking about the pressure for immediate results one of the questions that usually happens that I can remember is you know where do you see yourself in five years or where do you see yourself growing in this position and so there is a mindset of am I seeing myself in 5 here five years but if there’s such a pressure for immediate results aren’t they kind of cancelling each other out what’s your take on that I think you’re right I think that what counts certainly is having a goal and having a personal mission but right now is probably the most important if you’re going to have any opportunities in the future that I remember I don’t know if you do I think it was a favorite interview question long ago where do you see yourself five years from now and I don’t know because I haven’t interviewed in a long time but I imagine that people don’t ask the question as frequently as they used to because the world is changing so quickly I know when I entered the business world people went to work for an employer and stayed there usually for their whole careers and now experts say we’re going to have not seven to nine different jobs but seven to nine different careers so I think you’re right making up what is a phrase I have had coined or a word I coined be up to list ik a combination of combination of optimistic and realistic so the optimism is yes life is going to get better and better as I grow and do something perhaps even more rewarding five years from now but be realistic at the same time and seize the day where you can make the most of your current position does that make sound like would you remember it yeah it does it was you know a little nostalgic in what you’re saying because my old firm before they were acquired we had a president who had started in the mailroom and I remember when I initially started working there and he was telling me that right I’m kind of sitting there later in Syria am i watching a movie type of deal and that was the case but when they were acquired you know that kind of went away and then we were in an environment where you were saying that you may have nine different careers even in the same company and the company might not be the one that you originally joined exactly yeah yeah so I was just awful thinking you know if we look at business cycles about 10 years ago is when we had so much upheaval and now we’re on a trajectory were at sea where the impression is that it’s a really low or a stronger economy but it goes in cycles so if word due for another correction if you will there may be a lot more excuses going around because people are trying to adapt to maybe like you said a different career and they’re not going to be doing what they’re doing now if you were to look at your crystal ball and and thinking about what it could shoulda and excuses woody what would you say to a person for the next couple of years what they should anticipate in and be prepared instead of reactive it seems overly simplistic for me to just answer your question by saying wow the world is changing but the speed with which change is occurring is just takes my breath away and I think corporations and individuals are facing those those problems I think that about 10 years ago doing some consulting work with a major corporation and they were laying off about 3,000 people and I remember when I did workshops which would take control of your career with the title of the workshop that I quoted the past president who said that so many people had come up to him and said oh I want job security and his response had been the greatest job security in that day ten years ago was being perceived as being able to do more than one thing and I think the way that you’re perceived is being able to be nimble flexible and rise to the occasion is enhancing your reputation by not making excuses sure I’ll learn how and I think of my own experience in information technology and you know starting off with Fortran and punching cards in the basement of the Science Building at 3 o’clock in the morning where you have a degree – now the age of mastering a program on my laptop only to find out oh I need to learn a new one learning skill so I think that that being willing to take a risk rely I went to a workshop not long ago one of the participants who was very impressive a law degree or a graduate of a well-known well-respected law school in 2014 terrific presence very sharp and he was saying as a millennial is that I’m so disappointed nobody gave me a handbook for life and I’m thinking oops supposed to be was it in the handbook it would say don’t make excuses go for it but that’s really hard and that even if I conducted a workshop for senior executives in a company that was maybe similar to your experience they were it was a takeover and they were actually in the larger slot the company that was acquiring another company and they wanted to have some insights to managing change and I asked them just easy questions such as where did you go on vacation when you go to a restaurant where do you go and this particular group was having a hard time with all the changes that were taking place because they went to the same place on vacation every single year they went to the same favorite restaurant they were not trying different cuisines that were not trying different cities and I think that you kind of need to learn to stretch and expect the unexpected what do they say expect the best but prepare for the worst it’s just interesting that you say that because what I’m looking back again that ten years ago and there was an excuse or not an excuse but I think it wasn’t even an article and they were talking about just what you were just saying where you feel we are creatures of habit so they had used the an example of accountant and they were working at a larger firm and they the this accountant had hung out with all the other accountants at the office now the aide at their same restaurant for lunch and you know went home and then when they all were laid off they were competing against each other and they never really you know stretched those boundaries like he said to network with other industries or other people and so they weren’t as seen as desirable for getting new jobs because they they were competing against others that were stretching themselves and out in networking and not being a creature of habit so you know what you’re saying really struck a chord because like like you said it’s great to talk about it and we may make excuses because we’re creatures of habit and used to doing what we a low if it’s worked for the past five years I’m going to keep doing it yes it was that whole idea of unlearning not learning but you’ve got a to learn new things you have to unlearn the old ones what worked what was a wonderful title of a book what got you there well what got you here won’t get you there mm and you’re right you need to stretch and when you’re talking about the networking with the accountants one of the tips that I’ve included in what a good a should I get to get rid of excuses and maybe those accountants could have used it is be careful who your friends are and if you look at them do they make excuses do they never take a risk do they say negative things they hold on to the past because it’s been said that you are the average of the five people you spend the time most time with and you said those accountants work together socialize together had lunch together did not have other people in there they’re close professional network big for it’s like danger sign if you’re all set if those people are interesting a little intellectually curious highly motivated but if they’re in a rut chances are you might be too in fact I think one thing to ask yourself about the people with whom you spend the most time is do they make excuses and do they make excuses for you I overheard one person who is starting up fitness and exercise regime trying to lose weight and the friend this narrow group of sort of negative people that don’t lose weight it’s a terrible idea don’t lose weight you’ll wrinkle so ask yourself who are you spending time with are they negative are they holding back and are they holding you back with an attitude that’s kind of out of phase with that dr. Bradley would you say that long goes along with paying attention to the power of language to like those around you and what you know what they’re talking about is saying exactly I think that you said but that was your words the power of language paying attention and just an awareness and I think another tip that I’d like to share is if something isn’t clear or even if you think it is the language they made one thing to you and something else to the person who’s speaking ask questions ask for clarification ask for details it will save you a lot of time and effort that might be wasted otherwise so and and even even if you think of you think of is this example over a personal example I’m thank you David very much for the invitation I’m sorry I can’t make it and if it’s not as the social excuse white lie to talk about well you found out maybe as we talked that if I had some help on the project or if I had transportation or whatever the barrier is we could overcome it together and move ahead so yes words count and find out the meaning behind the words and it can transform lives and transform careers I know that I didn’t doing interviews for the book water gota shoulda I interviewed an attorney and I said do lawyers ever make excuses and you are being very polite but he laughed as a lawyer and said yes you know we make lots of excuses and I said well when he most likely to make them and he said he thought that attorneys made the most excuses when it came to excuses for not calling their clients back not returning phone calls and he’d listened to his own words and he thought I don’t return phone calls and I saw him a few weeks later and he said I thought about the words I said to you I thought about the reason behind them I realized that I didn’t return the phone calls because I don’t like my clients and he resigned for the bar and started a new career Wow so you’re right and awareness can and listening to your own words as well as those of other people can really lead to some very positive changes and in this case talk about a risk-taker the man is 68 years old and was told if you resign from the bar you can’t get back in unless you retake the bar exam which would be unlikely that he’d want to do so it was kind of a burn the ships there’s no way home unless you fight the battle put yourself in a position where you can’t easily go back take a that’s a good point and a good example because we’re always looking for ways to grow and it doesn’t stop at 25 or 35 or 45 your example this person may have been around people that were saying to him you can’t change careers you can’t you know all the reasons and making excuses not to and just that little our first one of our first podcast was God winks and it sounds like you had given that gentleman or a God went to find out what their next step would be that’s great well I love your title I love to go back and see if I can listen because it’s amazing that at one point I was running a career development program in and out and people would come in and say things like I hate my job I don’t like what I do I don’t like the people I don’t like the setting I really don’t like the location and keep on going and but I think I’ll stay here because I’ve only got another 17 years to a retirement I think if you have long seventeen years is I think it’s time to to not make the excuses of oh I’m afraid of change or this is comfortable or what the known is easier than the unknown and in fact when you’re thinking about mid-career or even late career I used to teach a workshop and the title was what to do before it’s too late and it was for mid-career employees who were also thinking about retiring maybe 10 years from then because we found that people usually don’t do new things in retirement so if you say oh I think I’m going to travel and you’ve never even gone away for the weekend it’s kind of unlikely that you’re going to do it oh I think I’ll buy season tickets to the theater and in the last 40 years you’ve never gone to a play so I think I love your idea of God winks but all so be prepared and go for it now don’t make excuses grab the opportunities or as you implied create them yourselves Yona body and ears have been done I must admit I well I bet that brings me to the next point because like you said in your workshop what to do before it is too late for middle midlife or mid-career people and you’re saying that the the speed of change is happening so quickly and so if we can use a prototype of a person that you know they kept the nose down at kept their head down at you know 20 something years old when I first when they graduated and they took some initiative it grew on the company and they are made they’re used to a standard of living and a good salary and then the company was bought out and so there look they’re looking for work and they’re used to commanding the salary but the marketplace is unable or they can’t find similar work so without making excuses what would you say as far as a outlook in the next steps I can empathize and I had gotten out placement programs for an employer who had major operations in extremely rural settings so if you worked for that employer life was good and you probably had a farm that had been in the family for a few generations and you made your living by working for this company and suddenly the plants closing down and you can’t say oh just no just off your resume and go someplace else because there weren’t other places and I think that the answer to your question is it’s it’s difficult but you really need to look at three things you need to look at what are your values what are your interests and what are your strengths and values one versus said I think I’m going to go reinvent myself and I’m going to go back to school and then he realized that second thought he thought that he would look this was not in the rural environment this is in a city it was he had more options he thought I think I’m going to stay in my field because I have a young son who’s having major medical problems and I don’t want to start a new career so what are your values and what do you do well what are your marketable skills and I think all of us have got some marketable skills I know I have a degree that involves a part of the degree requirements we’re having up a minor in statistics I can do it but I don’t enjoy it I think you need to find out where the values the interest what you like to do and what do you do well intersect if you’re lucky you’ll be able to find something locally if not I think you can regard yourselves it’s been said so many times almost as a brand almost as what you incorporated and figure out are you willing to live anyplace or maybe you’re not willing to move what is within an hour-and-a-half Drive of where you’re living and what are the employers looking for that you might have it is consistent with again value strengths and interests that’s the ideal world if in a pinch I think I’d start with strengths and also I hope that all of your listeners are doing things like keeping a folder or on their computer or folder or a handwritten folder that has got evidence of accomplishments and things that they’ve done well because you forget what you do right I think unfortunately in the business world if you do something wrong that’s when you hear about it but you don’t hear about it enough if you’ve done something right and you need to remember what you’ve done right so you can build on those both for your interviews and your resume and even looking for the right opportunity what are your strengths in urine urine Virginia correct right yes it makes me and it was probably just more of a statement but it I remember some colleagues you know going through different changes and the what do you call it DMV area and so some people that they lived in DC they are able to take the train and work in New York and so they didn’t have to uproot their family and I remember you know that we were sharing that story before and I was talking about wow it would have been great if we have pumping like that here and Georgia where in Atlanta and so it so spread out that there has been talks of having like a rail system from Nashville to Birmingham and that would that would be fruitful for every for the for the region right you didn’t have to I just remember people it was difficult but if they couldn’t sell their house you know or the your spouse could stay your spouse didn’t have to leave their job but you had to leave your job you know it’s just a lot of headache and heartache whereas in other areas of the country namely like the DMV area you could work in a region and not be uprooted you don’t have to take your kids out of school or anything it’s amazing what people do I went to an event yesterday and met someone who lives in Charlottesville Virginia and commutes to New Orleans while a long commute my father for a while lived in Norfolk Virginia and crew commuted to Minneapolis that’s not ideal but I think one thing that’s happened now certainly since the days that my father did that is if you’re fortunate and don’t want to move that it seems that they’re an increasing number of opportunities to work remotely I know that some major employers decided that that was not such a good idea after all and made people come back and work out of an office but I think a large number of opportunities are still there again if you’re have kept yourself flexible and up-to-date and I’ve got the skills to be able to end the position that lends itself to doing that but you’re right it’s um it’s a long way if you lose your job in Macon Georgia and after I found out making is not a suburb of Atlanta for long commute laughs because I thought it was for a while you know it’s funny because here in Atlanta we we have a joke that if you it’s so the metro area has expanded so much right from suburbia to exer bhea that you are some people do live close to Macon and they would say if you see them on the plane they’re like yeah I live in Atlanta we said our metro area is called national ana ham I love it oh I think that’s great there is everyone complained about David’s originally from California and wherever you know I’m sure even in your area you complain about traffic and so when you’re talking about remote I know some companies that they have some some employees work remotely and then they’re you know just to stay competitive they’re on a 24-hour cycle and that you know the Americans if you will work until like 6:00 or 7:00 and then from 7:00 on it they transfer all their business for their work over to India and so we’re I’m seeing more of that and what are you seeing that as well and how does that factor in with excuses the blame the people because of cultural barriers or what are you seeing on that on that slide what an interesting question you’re right the world has changed it used to be you know congratulations you’re a new supervisor here’s your team you know make sure you use eye contact all those other interpersonal skills and now the team might not be in the same time zone or the same country and it’s interesting I would love to now that you prompted the question look into different cultures I had not considered that when I wrote the book that maybe thank you for suggesting it I don’t know the answer as far as different cultures I do know that it’s certainly to make that situation you just described work people have to embrace it wholeheartedly and not make excuses the old ones of oh you know I didn’t I didn’t get your phone call don’t work anymore look I didn’t get your email probably doesn’t work either making sure that you have got a reputation for being reliable and following through I would think would be even more important no I didn’t get your phone call one always interesting because in this day and age I mean you can’t be anywhere with it seems like everyone is surgically attached to their phones exactly and the person that that that tells you that you’re thinking that’s funny because what I’m around you you your home you know is in your hand constantly are you telling me that you can get my call up and out so the old excuses don’t work anymore also neither people don’t have a downtime they used to have because I think that there’s an expectation as far as excuses go I try make sure that I return a phone call or an email within 24 hours right away if I possibly can do you think that most people do it even faster or do you think that they’ve got sort of a 24 hour rule in their minds I think it depends on the position okay it but the other thing I think of and I’ve seen this with some of my attorney clients is mainly personal injury is that they’re having more accidents you know the result representing more people because they’re texting and driving or they’re trying to conduct a conference call while they’re in rush-hour traffic and they’re it’s like a DUI and that they’re not focused you know they’re trying to drive with one hand and they a part of the conference call on the other and they kick they don’t want to make excuses that hey I’m sitting in traffic I still want to be a part of the team but I think something’s going to have to give because it’s it’s a challenge that we haven’t had before but with that 24 hour business cycle I think these are some of the challenges we have to address so you really think that it’s really safer to make an excuse I’m terribly sorry but I need to call you back in an hour is much better to make sure that you arrive at your destination safely isn’t it what distracted driving but you’re right you don’t want to admit that I’m sitting in traffic or I’m in an airport and I’m paying more attention to another client it’s a big problem yeah and as adults right as adults I think we’re we’re being hypocritical because there’s more just glowing commercials with a major car brand where the kids are coming to their parents like hey I can’t turn the volume up in the parents let go really or my phone won’t work when I’m in the car and you’re like oh really and so what do you say when Dad what you’re doing that is it reminds me of the 80s drug commercials where did you learn that drug but you’re right because even in our lives in the other night my cell phone rang about oh gosh ooh 10:30 my time and I thought because I don’t recognize em and I don’t recognize the number and I think it’s probably going to be just a you know solicitation for something that I have no interest in and they’ll just hang up and it went to voicemail that uh I better check this and it was a business call but the business call was from Honolulu and said oh she’s get this call you know could you please call me back I’m thinking okay now it’s almost 11 o’clock at night my time but I thought I can’t make an excuse and it’s called berthing back oh so you’re right the downtime is is hard and the expectation across time zones and different situations it’s tough it is tough for these days I’m call I called it back and I’m glad I did but and then then it led to a request of saying could you please email me three documents right away so in after midnight I’m trying to find this document send them along because I didn’t want to make an excuse and I didn’t want to admit that I was already you know wearing bunny slippers at that time of night and without thinking if there was a business so let’s stay there for a second so we’re talking about it I used the example of different roles with kids versus their parents and I want to get your take on making excuses as well we’re talking about you know as employees or maybe small business owners but on the other hand on the other side you have B CEOs they’re still getting the huge payout if they’re laid off or fired and what’s your take on that I’ll take the easier part of the question first how’s that what you mentioned because I again I wrote what a good I should of thinking that business leaders would probably like tips on eliminating excuses for their teams and from their teams and I found that a lot of people have told me oh I bought woulda coulda shoulda for my kids and how I’ve used it as a graduation gift or sort of as you said with that other example we were just talking about do do as I say not as I do and they make excuses but you shouldn’t the huge payout question I think is really interesting and I don’t really know the answer other than it’s hard as someone who has not received a multi-million dollar offer for a short tenure at a job without producing stellar results it seems to me that it’s kind of hard to accept it on the outside I don’t know how I would feel maybe grateful maybe I’m not sure what usually you know dismayed because with my next opportunity she said not not thinking that it could happen to you but I don’t really know the answer to the payout do you have any insights well I was just you know on one side with the woulda coulda shoulda I just I know in the environment that I was in morale is usually attached to the leader right so if the leader and I always taught that way if you’re if you’re frowning walking down the aisle or you know walking them all then your employees would pick up on that and so right and I it was just really interesting I uh and I’ve been in sales so you know we what we’ve had mirrors on our desks and you know make sure we’re always smiling and such but it was really interesting with with my personal experience when I had left that one position and still hung out with some some colleagues there and they’re just like oh man we miss you being there like the person that’s in your position they don’t smile they don’t call us by name you know all that is associated with morale and so if the president is it’s kind of it’s top down and if they bring in somebody from you know outside the family if you will and they’re there for less than a year in a year or a year and they get this huge balloon payment and didn’t make any type of change whatsoever morale is affected negatively oh definitely it’s um I think it it’s difficult to be the person who’s brought in as I think what a number that I had read just the other day was 40 percent of the outsiders who were brought into those positions don’t make it I think they fail in approximately a year or less than a year but it’s also really tough on the team because you’re right there there is such a thing as leadership and there is such a thing as culture you’re right the smiling the what kind of a role model is is the leader I don’t know when you say oh my gosh well next next next that’s not real good is it I think it’s it’s ongoing is it pumping that we can’t have a blanket of pavement it’ll always change but I’m thinking of clusters and here in Georgia we don’t have we’re trying to get a culture so around the country you may you hear or I’ve heard while we were trying to emulate Silicon Valley or we’re trying to imitate replicate what’s happening in Boston or DMV and so in those areas if I leave a place like Facebook I can go to Google or Yahoo and in example used earlier I’m not saying George’s like that but if we had the only one one employer and then they go away you know you’re affected make like we here in Atlanta we lost our army base and or military days and that was a huge employer for you know around the airport and things like that and in that area is still adjusting you know after 10 years so you know I have its what you’re saying is at the beginning was really important about you know short term strategies and long term that strategic and technical plans I think you have to constantly evaluate them oh I agree I think for your company for your team and for yourself what’s what short term what’s long term and I don’t think that people like if the terms was often use stakeholders and employees stockholders your board bosses fellow or staff members are really care about excuses for the most part it’s what are the results and I knew the culture wasn’t supportive the time wasn’t right I didn’t get the email none of that works at least not in not in my experience and but you’re right is particularly difficult when a major employer especially someone like the army I mean and when a lot of the major companies no one would have guessed about the changes or I certainly would never been able to predict the changes that are happening and I don’t think that the excuse of who knew works anymore although it’s certainly something I can relate to oh my gosh or why didn’t we pay attention I think awareness has got to be part of it I another potential book is one on red flags and how to pay attention to the signals that maybe you just sort of made an excuse and thought this didn’t apply to me or it couldn’t happen here oops it did and so not making excuses as far as being nimble and flexible and I think probably my other career tip would be never stop learning because you just don’t know what the future is going to have and I mean I told you that I mentioned that I wrote the book because I think one major thing the differentiates wildly successful people from average ones is that the wildly successful ones don’t make excuses but there’s additional research done on what makes a successful person and that research I thought was fascinating because they they looked at all sorts of competencies and capabilities and education and experience and the number one thing is not how educated you are or what your background is or what your grading was in high school on an algebra but the number one thing was what are you willing to learn quickly do you learn quickly but more to the point do you learn from your mistakes do you not make excuses but say oops okay I am NOT gonna make that mistake again and keep growing I thought that was encouraging that’s something that I think we can all as in our as in everybody’s reach learn Maria mistakes you never want to be a lot to learn well that brings me back to to my next question because you know I think I’ve seen where a domino effect like if something happens in one industry it seems like at 10050 but then it’s accepted or you see it in other industries and so over the past year we’ve seen an entertainment industry a lot of the dynamics changing with genders and so they were making excuses before and then since you have the IT background right you’re it well now now oh you do not know go too quickly I’m in that water some of these male-dominated environments right they have a change they have to change where you know women or people diversity and what-have-you that is constantly changing so it’s like you probably have a living breathing document with the wood of shadow because what was acceptable maybe five years ago isn’t in 2018 2020 type of deal so it’s more of like learning of the lucky said competency but also learning the intangibles yes and paying attention and doing the right thing we just don’t make excuses you know I remember a real basic tip in an ethics course was does it feel right would you be ok if this action were described on the front page of the newspaper and your mother read it you know there’s some real basic standards so I guess in that case it was you know sometimes I just do it and sometimes it’s a just don’t do it and the world has changes I know that my first job out of graduate school was I joined a major huge employer enormous I think they had I don’t know 400,000 employees and they I did not realize it was unusual to meet the President and be told oh we want you to develop I’m smiling as I described this a women in management course you know recruiting development program because we don’t have any women in management and this was in the late 70s and I moved 800 miles away I met the president my first day of work which again I guess didn’t realize how unusual that was at age 27 and is if it will welcome to the company and I just wanted to let you know the program has been canceled for me and for the company I think it all worked out very well because the men’s it will we don’t think that women should have an advantage and have a special program so lucky for me I was able to make a career out of really people in management but times have changed for having a company of that fortunately the company that size they’re still industries where progress is slow on lots of different fronts but I think people are not making excuses the way they used to and are doing the right thing I hope if not we have a book for them right you’re gonna say something David yeah I’m going to ask dr. Ali whether you you mentioned your book excuses as gifts can you give me some examples of that I think if you find out the reason behind the excuse you have taken a big step to solving a problem and I think that I wrote those words that I thought about even staying in a hotel and having the comment cards and instead of letting I’m not making excuses tell us what you like tell us what you don’t like that you all probably like me and I every time I do something online I immediately get take two minutes to give us the surface make an excuse and disappear we want to know so we can fix it and I think if you figure out the problem behind the excuse you can move ahead and you can change your behavior if you just kind of say off well I’m sorry it I need an incomplete in that course whatever the equivalent is in the business world you need to find out what’s really going on I think that a humorous example is a true story of an excuse that a guy called in and talked to his boss and said I’m sorry I’m not going to be at work today and the boss said well what’s going on and he said well I’m having car trouble and he said well what’s the trouble with your car and the man said I’m not in it well so actually you know when they produce an at welcome there was a problem on a project and everything and he was afraid that he was going to you know to come in and because he wasn’t going to make a good report at the staff meeting and but finding out what’s behind the excuse I think then it becomes a gift a gift of information where sounds similar to the one of you know I’m not going to be in today and your manager asked what was the problem and you say my eyes are bothering me well which Walter I say I just don’t see myself coming in work at it I love it that’s wonderful so yeah but and then finding out what what’s going on is that just a fluke with that one person or do you have a morale problem in the department could be again yeah I think one of the big gifts especially since your yearbook is on Amazon it is the comment section of fortunately unfortunately if everyone likes something they won’t say anything but if they don’t they can give you those excuses better gifts that can actually either make a competing product product or make your product even better that is an interesting dilemma right now you’re right it’s it’s a scary gift right yeah absolutely the hold-your-breath gift exactly exactly and I think again it’s the do the right thing I would what do they say feedback is the brow coast of Champions but I think there’s a time and a place and a way to deliver it to it and to ask yourself what your objective is in offering it so if things are so fast – were at the top of the hour I’m just thinking if they’re so fast now what do you what do you see as far as the can we get faster or we’re always with the quarry to improve and how are you the best able to adapt so that we find ourselves not making excuses for the future I think that keeping certain words in mind excuses will always be there opportunity won’t kind of sums up our conversation today remember the aware listen I think that people have told me that woulda coulda shoulda if nothing else made them aware of excuses that they didn’t even realize we’re all around them and I think keeping up with the fast pace take a risk figure out what your strengths are figure out what you really really want and make it happen by getting rid of excuses would be my big word of advice absolutely and you can get your book on on Amazon but are there any other websites or social media where people get in contact with you I laugh because we talked about computer skills right now Amazon is the best place and the only place so I would be delighted if your listeners go to Amazon and order woulda coulda shoulda rapid results no excuses it’s a small book that people tell me they’ve enjoyed using as a reference book and captured by their bed is also fun to read it’s a light-hearted treatment of a serious topic so I hope they’ll find that it’s got practical useful tips but I also hope that they’ll smile when they read it fantastic fantastic well you have just been attend to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective this is Hamza and I am David and dr. Margaret Bradley it was a pleasure speaking with you today oh thank you very very much for inviting me to join you on your show thank you enjoy the rest your day thank you listen to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective on radio public it’s a free easy-to-use app that helps listeners like you find and support shows like ours when you listen to our show on radio public we receive direct financial support every time you hear in episode experience our show and radio public today by listening to the show linked in our episode notes and thank you for listening thanks again for checking out another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeless perspective podcast please check us out on our website at intrinsic motivation dot life where you can click on the speak pipe button and leave any suggestions for a future podcast that you’d like us to cover also check us out on our social media sites we have a YouTube channel Facebook page iTunes podcast in addition to stitcher and Google Play all under intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective check you out next time have a great day you