Speaker 1 00:02 Good morning, good evening, good afternoon everybody out there in podcast land, you are in tuned to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective. This is Hamza and my guest today is right up my alley. In the little talk we had before the podcast, we were talking a little bit about golden handcuffs and how do you leave that or do you leave that and the fear around that. She's going to talk about burnout also and stress. She said burnout nearly killed her, so we want to hear about her stress. Everyone has stress, but she might say, hold my beer so you could have an experienced stress like I have a, she has a new book as well. Just came out about two weeks ago called Stressless success, the surprising secrets to a life of passion, purpose, and prosperity. The three PS. Folks, without further ado, I like to welcome the author, Janet McKee to the podcast. Welcome. Speaker 2 01:00 Thank you Hamza and thank you so much for inviting me onto your show. I'm thrilled to be here and thrilled to share some of these new insights with your listening audience. Speaker 1 01:11 Sure, absolutely. I think in in, I'm sure you do too, but when you talk to people on a rate on a regular basis, they may say, yeah, I'm so stressed out. I'm so stressed out. What does that mean in if they were stressed out maybe two or three weeks ago on this conversation, what is it like now when we are bombarded with the Corona virus and its perceived implications? Speaker 2 01:38 Wow. Yeah. Big question. Absolutely. Well, there's always something going on in our world to be fearful about and fear is one of the biggest sources of stress. So there is always going to be something in your immediate environment and the world at large that can cause you stress. And so many people say, well, there's nothing I can do about that. It's, it's the government, it's the economy, it's my boss, it's my spouse, they're causing me so much stress. And we all believe that we're victims of what happens around us and that we have no control. Well, what am I about to share with you today on this podcast is we have more power over not only our own thoughts and our beliefs and our reactions to life. We all know that. We've heard that a million times, but we have more power over what truly happens in our lives than we ever knew before. And this is a very exciting discovery, but always things, there are always things in the world that can cause you stress. Speaker 2 02:55 You could choose to live every single day stressed and worried and fearful. And most people do. And Hamza, you know that especially, you know, we, we all like watch the news and it's like, Oh my goodness, this is so bad. Everything's so bad. Every year as like, Oh, but, but this, this year is so bad and I choose not to do that. I've taken a completely different path of choosing differently for myself and I've learned it from my own challenging situations and it's because of my own challenging situations that I've learned to live differently. And I want everyone to learn this. Do you want me to go through what I went through? Speaker 1 03:40 Yeah, we, I, I do want to back up for a second so we can get some framework and um, I mean it's a traditional story and I want to know if yours was similar or not, but, uh, most people are familiar, you know, for, to be successful and work your butts off. And you know, this starts with, uh, maybe a helicopter parents when you were younger and you are, so, uh, your calendar was full ever since you were two with dates and sports, what have you, and then you find yourself in corporate what have you, uh, cause one trigger that you said was fear is the biggest source of stress. And so you're climbing that ladder and there the fear of keeping that job or meeting deadlines or meeting, making quota and then you kind of burn out and then you're like, I need to rise from the ashes. Does that sound familiar? Speaker 2 04:26 Yeah, yeah. Was absolutely. I was corporate girl, high achiever. I've always been a high achiever. People said, Oh, that's, you know, you've just had success, whatever. I um, have always been type a, you know, go for what I want. And was very successful in two fortune 500 companies. I was so such a high achiever. I always, I was on fire while I was on fire with achievement, but that led me to hit walls in every area of my life. I literally developed an autoimmune disease that landed and landed me in the hospital. I couldn't eat. It was too painful. I couldn't walk and prior to that I was a young, athletic, aggressive career woman, like major success and fortune 500 and landed in the hospital with an illness I couldn't understand, couldn't control the doctors came to me and basically gave me no hope. They said they either need to remove my organs and then adjusting or remove somebody's organs or put me on a medication that had a 50% chance of causing cancer and I didn't know anything about natural hoping the yelling, but I said, no. Speaker 2 05:36 Something came over me and I said, no. But it was this, this autoimmune disease that I had developed that flared up. So I developed it because of all the stress and pressure of the corporate world. I thought I was living a healthy life and everything, but the sh the mindset and the stress can everything. I mean it's really powerful. And what's really fascinating is it was a major challenge that I was facing in my life that caused a huge flare up of that autoimmune disease. And that's what finally landed me in the hospital. So yeah, I literally burned out. I mean, not any joke about it was in the hospital where I had not eaten much for two months because it was too painful to eat. Can you imagine that? And I was losing weight and I was skinny then I couldn't walk. I mean it was really bad. Speaker 2 06:35 But when the doctor gave me those two options, I said, no, I'm not doing either of those. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I'll never forget the dad got myself out of the hospital. I couldn't even walk up and down the steps of my own home. I was in bad shape. But I started on my journey of learning how to kill my body naturally. And it took trial and error and I don't even know how I made it through those days. Back then, Hamza, I mean, it was really serious, but I did and little by little through trial and error and working through it, I healed my body naturally. I mean, it's been over two decades and I have no illness whatsoever, no medication whatsoever. I'm in my mid fifties and I feel healthier, more vibrant than I ever did in my thirties and twenties I mean, it's really crazy. Speaker 2 07:22 But I became inspired then to help other people. I left the corporate world, went to Columbia university to study health and wellness and did the whole listic health counseling work for years and helped people reverse all kinds of serious health challenges. You know, heart disease type two diabetes can reverse even some cancers. I mean, I have clients that had terminal cancer. The doctors gave up on them and there's no guarantee with that. That's a tricky illness. But I was having great success working with people, helping them and helping them improve overall. But then I had more walls in my life. My husband of 26 years walked out on me and our son and an hour's notice. I left me not only heartbroken and our family ripped apart, but left me extremely fearful over finances because not long before he left, he put liens on all of these investment properties that I developed while raising our son. That's actually what put me through school at Columbia and not before long before he left, he had put liens on these properties to support a loan for a business that at the time he left was failing and I felt like I was not only standing on thin ice, I felt like the roof above my head was a house of cards because he also put a lien on the home we lived. Speaker 2 08:49 I was completely frightened over my finances. I literally thought I was heading for bankruptcy. Meanwhile, trying to pick my heart up off the ground right and put it back in pieces. It was a really bad time for me, but after an entire year, an entire year of deep depression and sadness and fear, I said, okay, wait a minute. I used to be a vibrant, successful, happy, healthy woman. I need to go back out and find who that is again. So I literally went out around the world and studied with a world masters and success, achievement, abundance, positive mindset, um, you know, high performance, like all of these concepts. And each one helped me a little bit. I kind of talk about, it was like this delicious morsel and I would like to savor it. And I'm like, okay, that helped me. But I still wasn't finding myself where I thought I ultimately could be. Speaker 2 09:52 Has that ever happened to you? Like where you read books and you took workshops and you're like, okay, that was good, but why am I still having the same challenges, the same problem? It's like, why am I still stuck or frustrated? And it wasn't until I made these discoveries and I put all of this together, all these teachings together and when I call this a delicious recipe that then the light bulb went off and I was like, Whoa. I never realized. It's not about positive thinking. It's not about positive mindset. Like, is that crazy to hear that we hear that all the time? Oh, you just need to think positively, right? They're to challenge you as anything, but just think positively. And that's the answer. That's you're going to be fine and just think about what you want, right? Just say about what you want and write down what you want and then you're going to get what you want and then it doesn't happen. Speaker 2 10:44 And you're like, well, what's going on here? I'm like doing whatever they said. Right? And it's when I made these discoveries that everything began to shift in my life and it's kind of like crazy. It's almost like miraculous. But I don't want to tell you that that's, it's a miracle. It's really, it makes sense once you understand it and once you understand this, you can begin to use this in your life and everything is going to change for the better. This is really powerful and real incredible. So, but before we get into all that, just back to my challenges to now, I look at, if it wasn't for my health challenge, I would have never discovered how to heal my body naturally and go on to Columbia and help other people heal their, their bodies. Okay? So I would never be as healthy as I am at my age or at any age if it wasn't for almost dying in the hospital. I'm grateful for that challenge because it taught me so much that is incredibly valuable, right? If it wasn't for my husband walking out and leaving me, not only heartbroken, but to break a financial disaster, would I ever gone out around the world to search for answers and I would have never discovered what I've discovered that has completely changed everything. So now when a challenge happens, Speaker 2 12:16 no longer do we need to say, Oh no, this is bad. What am I going to do? I'm stressing you say, okay, wait a minute. This is a challenge. I understand. I accept it, but I've overcome challenges in the past and they've always taught me something that have made me stronger and wiser. So wonder what this challenge is trying to show me or teach me. I wonder what good may come of this. And if you notice, doesn't it feel differently to hear me say that instead of, Oh no, this is bad, I'm going to shut up. Right? When do you begin to just climb yourself out of the hole gradually with thoughts that feel slightly better? And when you know your challenges are actually there to truly teach you something valuable, then then you don't feel that stress anymore. And this is one that's one of the things that we begin to do is I work with clients and I teach workshops, onsite workshops, offsite retreats, and I help people learn the skill. But I'm sure you've had challenges in your life, right? Hamza, I'm sure. Speaker 1 13:36 No, never, ever, ever, ever, ever. Speaker 2 13:40 And what did, what did you learn from them? It's probably why you do what you do now, which helped so many people with your podcast. Speaker 1 13:46 Oh, absolutely. And I do. I do want to say our first podcast was uh, it was called no, it was, uh, we were, it was about a book that I read many moons ago and it was on the second iteration. It was called, uh, Godwin's when God winks. And so it was talking about there's no accidents. And when you look at life that way, like you were saying, uh, if you look at it from a different perspective, this is an opportunity for you to learn and grow from this experience. And so, uh, another cliche is that with sex successful people, they get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And it sounds like you experienced some of the extremes of that or from someone listening on the outside would say, Oh that's very extreme. I um, uh, I have to put my stress in perspective now. I, what I thought was a mountain was maybe a molehill considering what Janet went for her. Speaker 2 14:45 Yeah. Yeah. And then not to diminish what other people are going through. Cause every little challenge is big to us. Right? They're big in our world. So it's not to be like, Oh, you better not feel sorry for yourself a little, but it's about, no, we all have these and even little challenges. But when you learn, and let me tell you something and, and definitely don't mean to um, say anything controversial here, but I don't agree with being comfortable with uncomfortable by the way, as long as I have a whole chapter in my book, you know, there's a book, feel the fear and do it anyway. I say absolutely no. I say no way. And let me explain. Okay. You know, feeling covered with uncover when I understand the point there is actually you can get on, you can get comfortable with no matter what's happening around you. Speaker 2 15:30 So that's a different way of saying maybe something similar, but I want to look at the difference because being comfortable with uncomfortable is like assuming then you always have to struggle that it always has to be uncomfortable to get to whatever to get to success. And that's the whole point of my book. We think we have to stress and struggle to get to success. And you might get this some levels of success, by the way, and I got the levels of success by stressing and struggling, but I almost killed myself doing it, right? What I found is you get greater levels of success. It comes easily when you let go of the stress and the struggle, and I know that my son, impossible, but no, you can't. You can do it, but let's look at that. When you stress and struggle, when you're uncomfortable, you're literally putting up walls of resistance. Speaker 2 16:20 Resistance is uncomfortable. That's actually why we get so exhausted. It's why we get burned out. We get burned out because of all the struggle of all the stress of all this resistance. We have to keep fighting harder and harder. That wears us out both physically, mentally, mentally, and emotionally, right? All of that. So that's why we get burned out, but it's our reaction to it. We, we think that's how we're supposed to respond. We think that we have to deal with the discomfort of working hard and striving hard and getting to success, and that is wrong. The key here is your energy and what feels better and the key is to know that you have the tools within you to get to the better feeling place. So let's just look at fear for a moment if that's okay Hamza, because fear is such a big source of stress and you've mentioned the Corona virus and first of all, anything that you give your attention to, like you've really are fearful over this fires and you're very worried about it and what are you going to do and you're not going to go out of your house and got away. Speaker 2 17:35 Okay. All of that. When we give attention to something, we give it power, we give our power away to it. Okay. Like when I'm working, when I'm talking with the clients having cancer and I was doing the holistic health thing. Yeah. We would talk about how foods fight cancer and all that, but then we would not fight cancer. When you fight cancer, you give cancer the power and what's going to win the one that has more power. Okay. What we did is we brought in health and wellness. We focused on all the healthy cells and all the parts that feel good and how the delicious healthy foods are so wonderful and they're healing every cell of our body. And what does it feel like to feel healthy again and imagine that. Okay, so we would put all of our energy and focus on bringing in health and wellness. Okay. So the kind of the same thing with these other areas of your life. Speaker 2 18:29 When somebody has fear about something, let's say somebody has a fear of public speaking. Okay. That's kind of funny because there's a whole story about, I was such a high achiever. I graduated top of my class in high school and I had to give a high school graduation speech. And that was way before anybody taught anybody how to give speeches. And I walked up to the podium and went blank. Am I tired? High school, graduation speech. And here I am in front of every but everybody I went to school with, all their brothers, their sisters, their parents or grandparents, right? Everybody you ever knew growing up, right? And I completely humiliated myself from thousands of people that I knew or most of them. And I'd never forget that because I had a quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and what came out was Henry lodge worth Longfellow. Let's go down here. Speaker 2 19:15 Remember from my my speech and I quoted them wrong. So, um, I laugh now because that challenge again led me, once I got in the corporate world, I went to Toastmasters, I went to Del Carnegie's beakers training, end up winning sales stock championship for the country. I mean, it was like I took that challenge and turned it around, but what did I do? So public speaking. So when people have a fear of public speaking, that's kind of funny that I failed my high school graduation speech and now I speak as a profession. Well, you don't just walk out on the stage scared to death. You would practice, maybe you would get a couple friends together and like practice or you would practice in front of the mirror or you maybe you record yourself or you would go over your speech many times until you felt comfortable with it. Speaker 2 20:02 Right. It's just like an Eagle learning to fly. They don't just jump off the branch and fly. They literally walk up and down the branch of the tree, flapping their wings until they get comfortable with the feeling and then they hop a little on the branch so they feel what it feels like to be airborne for a split second. They practice, they gain competence before they leap off the branch. Well, same thing. If you have things that you're fearful about, don't just leap with fear because when you go forward with that negative energy of fear, what happens when you go forward with negative energy, with negative, with negativity, you're going to get a negative result. What I suggest instead is that we shift. We, we, we work to sh shift your energy until you feel a bit more comfortable. Now, not you're going to be perfect. Speaker 2 20:56 Every public speaker, by the way, even the big multi-million dollar speakers still get nervous when they get on stage. I know because I trained with them, okay, but they know I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about. I love speaking to the audience. They talk to themselves, right? I call it talking up. The louder they talk themselves into a better feeling place before they walk out on stage so that they get a better result. Now you look at something going on in the environment or in the society like the Corona virus, not that you want to focus on the virus and all the things. I want you to know that research has shown that this is no more serious than the common flu. Okay? That, yes, the flu, everybody goes out and gets flu shots. I don't by the way, but because they're afraid of the flu every year and then they go again, but when you hear about that, people get the flu and they get sick and they're sick for awhile. Speaker 2 21:53 All right? The ones that don't make it are usually the week, the frail and the elderly. It's the same as the flu, but that's a different way to look at the coronavirus, isn't it? So I'm choosing to look at it like, okay, this is how every now and then we get something like this. It happens. What's good is, okay, wait a minute. I'm a smart woman. I know how to take care of myself so that can strengthen my immune system and be as healthy as I can be. And I trust that I am smart, I'm protected, and I'm not going to be stupid and walk right in to an area, right if I don't need to, that maybe is at risk. So maybe be smart about it and I'm going to take care of good care of myself. And isn't it nice to know that this little scare, so to speak, is teaching me that maybe I need to be more deliberate and taking good care of myself and making sure my immune system is strong and now it looks like, okay, this is good. Speaker 2 22:55 It's showing me that boy, I better take care of myself. I better get good rest. I better drink fresh water, I better eat healthy foods. Maybe move my body. Breathe fresh air, right? Guess what? It's all common sense. Your body has the ability to fight disease. Your body knows it's brilliant and knows how to fight these things. We just got to give our bodies opportunities to do it. So there's a lot of good happening from this Corona virus scare, but there's a lot of people are saying, okay, what can I do to be healthy? I need to take better care of myself so that I'm strong and then, you know, if things have so okay, so that's not great. I'm not jumping for joy over this fact that this is happening, but I don't need to live in fear over it. Fear just creates this like negative energy. And then when you're, you, you live in fear over this thing that's happening. Of course the media makes everything more aware of everything that's going wrong. Um, one of the best things I ever did for my life by the way, is walk away from the news. I don't watch the news anymore. Speaker 1 24:05 Oh, I was laughing when you were saying that because yesterday on, on CSPAN, it was an hour interview with the president and the, all of the heads of pharmaceutical companies and biotech. And I was reminded of when, uh, when I've heard, when he first became president and it was flu season and so 2017 and they ask, Oh yeah, have you gotten your flu shot? I'm like, I don't believe in that crap, you know? And I was like, Whoa, as leader of the first world, they probably hate you right out of dough daggers. And he went around the table. Speaker 2 24:39 No, no, that's exactly what I say about it. But go ahead. Speaker 1 24:42 Yeah. But I do know you wouldn't think that, you know, there's a lot of relationships and quid pro quo and lobbyists and so I was just like, wow, how could that happen? And I'm thinking it's in the back of my mind as I'm watching C-SPAN yesterday. Like, okay, we have, uh, you know, best case scenario, we have some, some, um, um, what do you call them after you get past the initial testing for any type of solution? They said it's going to be best case scenario will be a year. Right. And so it would be funny that it'll go away. He's like, well, I'm glad I never had to take a shot from you guys because I never believed that in the first place. Speaker 2 25:18 Aw. Wouldn't that be amazing if it went away without having to do all that? I agree with you, but here's the problem. Okay. Now back to this, the media is talking about those coronavirus I guess what we're given the coronavirus energy. Speaker 1 25:30 Yes. Speaker 2 25:31 The more energy that we as a society give the coronavirus it'll keep growing. Speaker 1 25:36 Oh, I agree. I agree. Before the podcast, I had to stop at the store and I thought I was going to pick up a few things, but the water aisle was empty. The bread aisle was empty, you know, so there were definitely, Oh, absolutely. Here in it in Georgia, Atlanta, Georgia, we had our two first, uh, instances, uh, father and son had just come back from Italy and yeah, it was just pandemonium in the streets today. So, yeah. So, you know, listening to, I agree with what you're saying. Um, but it, it's two parts. Like you, like you said, you have to decide what part you're going to play. There's a media that, are they getting kickback from that or is it, is it, uh, and there's people like us that may not even watch the news. Like I don't want to watch the news. So are, are they not supposed to tell people what's going on? I mean Johns Hopkins has an interactive map of the world in real time showing, you know, showing I wouldn't advise P I don't know why I said that cause I wouldn't advise people to watch that talk about focusing on Speaker 2 26:44 sharing. We're sharing openly and honestly. And that's the point of these is sharing. Yeah, no, absolutely. Um, I wonder if they did a, a world map of where the flu is and how many people have died from the flu. I mean, I just curious. So, so yeah, the media does need to share, tell us what's happening in the world. And I, and people say to me, well, if you don't want you to do to tell you, you know, what's happening, you know, do you here? And so, but what, what I avoid is the dramatize negativity. They draw all the time. But, and it's really interesting because fear and negativity are what sells. And I don't understand that then it doesn't sell in my house. Positivity is what sells in my house, right? And so I just, okay, I know what's happening in the world. Maybe not every little detail, like I didn't know that happened in Atlanta today, but I hear what's happening. Speaker 2 27:33 And whenever you click on your phone for a second, are you the internet? You hear enough of what you need to know. But, but it's so dramatize because that's what, it's a business. The media is a business. They have to sell advertising time. And th they're only gonna sell advertising if they get as many viewers as possible. As a matter of fact, you know this in the, in the media I had, I was trained in a media summit of how you pitch the media. They don't want the Joe Schmo story. They want, Whoa. You know, the prior fortune 500 executives crashed and burned from burnout and Rose from the ashes. Those are all words we use to get you to listen to what. But it's true story. I'm not, it's not making it up, but we've got to like bring you in to hear what we have to say. Speaker 2 28:25 This people are drawn to that. You know, the negativity, the fear, the all that and it's, it's a shame. I don't know why. I think it's human nature. Human nature is that when you wake up in the morning, you worry, you worry about the day, you start your day with fear, anxiety, what am I going to do? I've got to, you know, feed the dog, get ready for work, get myself done. Then rush drive through traffic, road rage. It's going to be miserable. I've got to get to work. I'm so stressed. I've got so much to do. My boss, my clients, my best and my that we wake up in the morning and negativity. One of the best things that everyone that's listening to this could do besides turning off the TV and sub watching the news, by the way, that improved my life 1000% but whatever. There might be people in the news listening to us, but we appreciate getting the news. Speaker 2 29:17 But again, it doesn't need to be dramatize the negativity. But when you wake up in the morning, the most important thing you could ever do to change your life immediately for the better is to deliberately reach for thoughts that create a successful day and feel it. Now hear what I said. You've heard other people say, just think positive thoughts. I'm telling you, you've got to feel it and I'll explain how this discovery happened. But so I started doing this so like wake up in the day and instead of, as soon as I wake up, I noticed them worrying cause you can feel the worry, you can feel the discomfort like Oh no, here we go another day, right? Yeah, it's, I'm like, okay, wait a minute. I'm choosing that thought. The F the fear is just an irrational thought. It's not real. It's not like a tiger is attacking you right now. Speaker 2 30:12 That's a real fear. Most fears are just irrational thoughts that we've chosen to to think. So it's like, okay, I'm having this spot. I've got the power over my thoughts. What thought could I choose? Well, I think I'm going to have a good day. I'm excited about my day, I'm interested in the new people I'm going to meet. I'm kind of really intrigued by this podcast interview. I'm going to have this evening with homes, right? I like start thinking that. So I use this, I started doing that and my life started to improve. Do you know what I say to myself every morning now Hamza I say today is going to be the best day of my life and I feel what that feels like and I'll explain why that's important and guess what today is today is the best day of my life cause I hear him on the phone with you sharing on this podcast with your listeners, these powerful teachings that I've discovered that are going to help everybody improve their lives. Like could I have ever imagined a decade ago or whatever that I would have this moment with you on this podcast. Like, this is the best day of my life and it feels amazing cause I can you feel that? Speaker 1 31:27 I do. And I want to share this with you before we unpack that because I had some client meetings today and I usually listen to podcasts on the way, you know, to, to and fro. And I come across Susie Orman and she was just the one in breakfast club and you know, says a new book that's coming out or whatever and I was about to move on. I'm like, really? Okay, I know who she is, she's been around blah, blah blah. And the light turned. So when the light turned I couldn't move and changing up to another podcast. And she, the story that she talked about was the same exact story when you were talking about the situation with your ex husband, the exact story and the story, the, the impetus was, uh, of it was a guy was getting married and he asked should he get a prenup? And she said, well, let me give you my example before she goes, look, now she went into an example of just what you had highlighted. And when I went on light change, I told myself I'm supposed to listen to this podcast. Speaker 2 32:42 Wow. Okay. So yeah, a little challenge. Turn into an opportunity always. Always if we, and when you live in the flow, so your life, you're living in the flow. When you do that, when you're like, okay I, I'm stopped here, whatever it was with light, but something good comes with it. Like you, you were then forced to listen to that podcast further. You're like, Oh listen to that. It's funny cause it just happened to my son and I, last weekend I was invited to a company North of Orlando to, they bought the book for all their employees and they invited me in to speak because you wanna inspire the employees actually read the book. And it was really powerful. And we came out and we were driving. We just were going to go get food and whole foods and we're driving and whole foods and we could not find a parking spot. Speaker 2 33:25 We're like, what is going on here today? We're like driving like we couldn't find a parking spot. We were like, where are we going to do it? Cause should we just leave? And I'm like, no, no. Let's just keep starting to go down further. Go down further, go down further. We kept driving down further. There's shopping center until we found a spot. We'd come out of the, the, our spot or walking right in front of us was a sign of this high performance car show going on right there behind whole and this place. My son is a car enthusiast. I'm like, see that Nathan? Look at that. We thought it was a problem that we couldn't find a parking spot, but because we couldn't find a parking spot, we were forced to go three lots down and we would have never seen the sign and we walked right into his passion in life. Speaker 2 34:08 It was like this glorious moment of do you see every problem, maybe a gift in some way. Even those little ones, they're gifts like just go with the flow deal like an athlete. The athlete that wins the championship is in the flow. They're in the flow, their energy. They allow it, they envision it, they feel it. Do you think the guy running down the field to the touchdown is in fear? He's not in fear. He's in the flow of the thrill and the excitement of imagining what it would feel like when he scores the touchdown. Okay, we can get that in our lives by practice and just like the football player. He didn't just wake up one day and become an NFL player. He practiced and he practiced and he practice. It's the same thing we're going to ask the listeners to do to practice making these choices within us. We have the power within us and that's going to create our lives so no longer are you looking at the reality around you and reacting to your life. Are you going to keep looking at your reality or do you want to create a new reality? And that's the power that we have within us. Speaker 1 35:29 I do want to stay there for one second, Janet. Cause you're, you're talking about living in the flow and, and letting go and some, some aspects having certain feelings. But you're also talking about presence, right? So if I'm running down the field, I can't think about what happened last week, right? Or I get cleaned or uh, I'm in the parking lot at whole foods and I'm like, I never get a parking space. Just last week I go, you know, this always happens to me. So how do you determine or what's, uh, how do you get that muscle working? Cause I guess we're talking after for you if you, or if you've never used it, how do you find your way? How do you constantly find yourself living in the flow and being present? Speaker 2 36:12 Yes. And I'll be completely honest with you, I'm not all the time. I have my days too. And I was like, okay Jenna, what you going on with your energy? And I have to like, okay, I know I have my toolbox with me at all times. It's in my head of what I can do to elevate and expand my energy. That's how I call it. Okay. When you elevate, expand your energy, things flow to you, things flow to you. You don't have to work for them. And I'm positive action. I'm not saying just sit on your butt, I mean positive action, but when you're in that elevate, expanded energy, it all just happens for you. Success now flows to me with less effort than I ever did back in the corporate world. Okay? And more success than I ever could imagine for my life and I want that for everyone that's listening here today. Speaker 2 36:57 Okay? So you just like a muscle and needs to be worked to get stronger and bigger and so pick something really small to practice with. But, but let me, let me go backtrack just a moment to explain to you how I discovered this whole idea. I was doing success coaching with clients and I'm working with this client and her book, I call her Monica because I keep her name private. She is a CEO of a $250 million company and she started to hire me to coach her and she has a lot of stress, a lot of pressure in her life. And one day we're on the phone and she said, Janet, I'm having this pain in my abdomen and I'm really scared about it because I'm worried something serious is happening, but, but Jim, don't worry, I heard it all I know I have to think positively. Speaker 2 37:49 And so I've been to all the workshops all over the us, all of that. So I go to bed and I say positive affirmations to myself and I said, what are you saying? She said at night I go to bed and I'm saying, I'm healthy, I'm healthy, I'm healthy. I said, wait a minute, you're saying a positive thought, but behind that thought is the energy of fear. You're putting more fear out into your energy field and that's why your situation's getting worse. That was the light bulb moment. That is not about positive thinking. And one more told, all you need to do is think positively about something you're worried about. It puts more of that worry energy out there. You're actually giving it more focus, right? It's your PO, you're giving that more power. So what I did with her, and I remember the moment, cause at a moment's notice, I thought to myself, Oh my goodness, what am I gonna do for her? Speaker 2 38:49 I don't have a solution. And then all of a sudden it came to me, she just doesn't believe that thought because she's in pain. And we've heard this before about your beliefs. So I'm not saying anything new here, but just hang in there with me. She's, she doesn't believe she's in pain. She doesn't, she doesn't believe that she's healthy. So she's trying to say a thought that's too far from where she is right now. So I imagine in my head, this image actually popped into my head that she's at a bottom rung of a ladder and she's trying to leap to a top rung of a ladder and one leap. And what happens if you try to leap from fear of pain and pain to leaping all the way to I'm healthy. If you try to leap from a bottom rung of a ladder top or going to a ladder, what's going to happen? You're going to fall off the ladder. You're gonna break your leg. So what I did is I said, okay, Monica. I said, let's just stop with there one moment. Would you agree you're smart woman? Yes. Do you see that your body's just showing you that something's out of balance? Yes. Speaker 2 39:56 You are a smart woman. So do you think that you're going to begin to search for solutions for that discomfort in your body? Yes. What we did is we started climbing the ladder with thoughts that feel slightly better, but that she believed and that gives her strong footing on the ladder. That feels better. Now, once we got too high on the letter and she didn't feel good anymore, we notice a little bit tension building that we left. We left that topic alone and we went to something else. I said, can I tell me about your daughter? You love your daughter? Yeah. Did you go on vacation with your daughter last year? Yeah. What'd you do? We went to the beach. Tell me about that. What does that feel like? We got her energy expanded and elevated on a different subject. Her daughter, she loves her daughter. They went to the beach. It was fabulous. She just got, then she went in this whole description of their time at the beach. Speaker 2 40:53 I elevated her energy, got her our mind off of the problem, and then we went back to the ladder. I said, okay, let's look at this again. Now you feel better? Yeah. Okay. So now you know that there are solutions to all problems and every challenge has taught you something of value. So as a possible that this discomfort is going to teach you. So when you uncover things that your body needs, like this is going to be really important for you, for the rest of your relationship. Yeah. That's like awesome. Right? So do you see what I'm doing? But we all need those tools that help us expand and elevate. So there's things that we know, okay, so you I want, no, let me make that perfectly clear to everybody. Hear me okay. That it was not about the positive thought. The positive thought actually was causing more harm because she was trying to think a positive thought that was too far up the ladder and there was too much fear behind it. Speaker 2 41:54 It's like somebody that's in debt saying, you know, you hear this and this law of attraction thing like, Oh, I have $1 million. You don't, you're in debt. And so don't tell me. I just need to say that because it really feels uncomfortable. So you start with little things like, okay, I've been in debt before, I, I've got myself out of it before I've known or I've known other people that have been in debt and they've worked themselves out and I know there's a solution to this and I'm going to start uncovering. And even if I just start a little by little each week, each month working it down, it's going to feel better as I go. Okay. So just want to make it clear that it's not about the positive thought. It's about the feeling and the energy behind the thought. And that is the most important thing because your energy is what actually creates your reality. Speaker 2 42:48 And this is something that's been proven scientifically in quantum mechanics, which is a theory within quantum physics. They have discovered that there's power behind our thoughts, our thoughts have better. Everything's energy, everything's energy. Even the solid surface of your desk right now is the subatomic level at the Adam. This inside the atom is actually wave particles. It's fluid, it's energy, everything is energy. And they've discovered that our thoughts and the feeling behind the thought is energy that we give off. We know this. We have a sixth sense about someone, right? Like when somebody walks in the room and they're really miserable and are angry, you can sense it from them, right? Okay. And when somebody is really happy and joyful and bubbly and yeah, you can see it on there, feel it from them. That's what I'm talking about. So when you go into your life learning to practice how to expand and elevate your energy, you have less resistance. Speaker 2 43:52 It feels better. That's ultimately what we want in life is to feel better. We want to be happy and joyful and feel better. So we're actually getting what we ultimately want in life just by doing this, which is interesting. But when we do have less resistance, we don't burn out. And so it takes practice. So what things we've heard about this like meditation and prayer and actually meditation is really interesting. If anybody's into that or practice and I'm not great at it, I should still have the new guided meditations in my head. I'm still like quieting my mind takes like, cause I have so much going on, but doing it releases because you're quieting your mind. Prayer can be wonderful, but prayer should be from a positive. Like thank you God for all that I have in my life, for the roof over my head and the pillow beneath my head for my cozy socks, whatever. Speaker 2 44:44 Thank you. Right. Thank you. And thank you for giving me the strength to overcome my challenges. And I know that there's guests in me, so thank you for leading me to the gifts that are in my childhood, right? So see how it feels better. Um, go outside in nature and mother nature. There's negative ions as positive for us. It's that really releases get outside and nature and look at the sun and the stars in the sky and the clouds, the rain. It's all beautiful. And the gr the greenery, if there's green or if there's no, if there's snow where you are right now, the snow, the whatever. It's like, get there, do something you love doing. Okay. Just all of these things. Garden, um, listen to great music. Then I have this thing now that when I'm doing something mundane, like around my house, like cleaning or cocaine or whatever, doing the laundry, I put my ear buds in, I put positive music on our great positive podcast and I like dance around my house and right. I just have fun. <inaudible> fun. Just do things to feel good, because even if it has nothing to do with the thing that you're worried about, you're just, you're lightening your load, you're expanding and elevating your energy, and then solutions for those challenges are gonna start coming to you. They can't come to you. Solutions for your problems are blocked. When you're stressed and struggling and have resistance, you're blocking them their walls. So break down the walls, Leighton, that life is fun. It can be fun. Find something that's fun about this very moment. Speaker 1 46:18 So let me, that's what you do. I want to ask you and thank you for Monica and the debt example and, and one-on-one sounds phenomenal. So I'd like to get your opinion on a group because one, a takeaway in your, in your examples before you start, it was success with less, less effort, right? And so I was thinking of a manager that has a room full of sales people and may have to cold call all day. How do I keep them motivated to be successful with lout? Less effort if I need them to be on that phone, smiling and dialing. Speaker 2 46:59 Okay. So, first of all, I get clients all the time. Moms of people that hate their job or they hate their boss. So that's making them sick and it's ruining their lives. This is actually the whole thing that started me on this cause I get clients all the time. So, okay. Um, first of all, let's am I working with an individual that has a cold call? And first of all, I would say, well, do you, do you appreciate your job? Like what does your job do for you? It's like, yeah, it's, it's my income, it's my salary. It supports me. I'm like, all that's good, isn't it? They're like, yeah, that's good. I'm like, well, what's one thing? What's one thing, one thing you love about your job. If somebody, especially if they hate their job, this is one thing. I mean, one thing that you love as job, even the smallest thing, or I really like the building, you know, that we're having an office in or whatever. Speaker 2 47:42 Okay. Whatever it is, it can be really small or if they hate their boss. So it's one thing, one thing that's good about your boss even has nothing to do with you. Like even if it's something like a silly as they wear nice shoes and I just want you to focus, focus. I go to bed at night focusing on the nice shoes when you wake up in the morning instead of saying, I hate my boss. Say he has nice shoes, I really love the shoes and I bought her that I can't wait to see what shoes you wear just feels better. So with the guy on the phone having to cold call, they're already thinking, okay, what do you love about your job? I want you to focus on that now imagine you have something to offer the person on the other end of the phone and you know what's good about that product or service that you have to offer. Speaker 2 48:21 And would that be helpful to them? Like yeah, that's like, well isn't that kind of cool that you have the job of like calling up someone and offering them something that you are going to help them? Like, do you realize how helpful you are to the community by making those calls and like getting in touch with people and has there ever been someone that you call those like really kind of nice and find me and like do you realize that these are people on the other end of the phone, they're just humans and that they don't know you. They're strangers and you want to, but you know you have something good to share with them. You're not selling them something. You're sharing something that would really help them and be a value and this is kind of cold that you can pick up the phone all day long. Speaker 2 49:08 I mean you're not out digging ditches, you're not in a coal mine. Like just like this was kind of easy. Like just pick up the phone and share what you have for these with these people and just bring that, bring that, that you care about. These people bring that heart into it and that this love that you have for people that need your product and they need your service and this and that kind of need that you get paid to like call people on the phone like this is, you know, really kind of fun, you know, so I just, you see what I'm doing? I was like playing. No, I would work with the individual and see what appeals to them, but it's, it's finding that better feeling place because they could choose, I hate this, I can't stand this, this is miserable. And then they're going to get on the phone and it's actually a productivity issue. Speaker 2 49:56 If you go forward with that attitude, if you go forward with negativity, with negative energy, you're going to get a negative result. So why waste your time? Go home, go home that day, take a nap, take the day off, take a nap, clear your energy, elevate, expand your energy, do something fun, come back to work, refreshed, energized and excited about pick gumbo phone and sharing what you have to offer. Because when you move forward with positive energy, you get a positive result and I can guarantee you Hamza that if I could talk to those people that have do cold calling and work with them for like a couple of hours in a workshop, they're going to get better results on the phone and their numbers are going to soar and it's then been going to become fun. They're gonna, they can't wait to get to work the next day to get on the phone and call people because they love what they're doing. Speaker 2 50:49 It's a choice. It's a choice within them and yes, okay. Eventually if they want to go out and look for a new job, but I tell people all the time, don't hate where you are right now. And then saying, cause at the new job is going to make you happy. It's not going to you make yourself happy where you are first like expand. Elevate your energy. It doesn't mean bless, but get to a better place, okay? Before you make a move to the new job because you want to be at that better place because when you're at an elevated energy state, you're going to attract a job that meets you at that level, right? You're going to get that job a better level at a client. She hated her job. She hated the city where she lives. She said, the first time she called me, she said, I'm gonna move. Speaker 2 51:33 I'm gonna get a new job. And I moved to new city. I'm like, Whoa, wait a minute. You got to clear your energy first. But she didn't listen to me and she went, she called me a month later and she said, Janet, I got a new job, new city, and I ha I'm unhappy. I'm like, I know, because we didn't teach you how to do it from the inside first. And she laughed. She said, okay, what do we do? Right? So this is the, you have power over that. Can you do that? Can you play around with thoughts to help you climb the ladder? Even just a few rungs, you got a power within you. You don't have to rely on your boss. The person on the other phone and the cold call or whatever they called me, the government, whatever you want to blame it on, you don't have to give your power away anymore. You've got it within you to just create ways that feel better, seeing your favorite song on your way to work and dance your way into your office. Okay. And then pick up the phone and start calling. Is it cold? Could be, are you saying that there's dancing at your workshop? Oh, are you kidding? Yes. Speaker 2 52:49 That's the first time anybody's asked me that. Oh, that's so funny. I have a speaking partner and he looks at me and rolls his eyes. But no, every break we do energizing breaks. So I put on the music and I'm up there, grooving it down and I, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I've got, I'm, I'm a white girl, but I've got the moves. Trust me, I've got the moves and I'm the first one up there dancing my heart out with without any hint of inhibition. So because I am, when you move and you dance the music, first of all, it just raises my vibration. That's what I love. That's what means something to me. It might not appeal to everybody, but I just, it, I'm in bliss. I'm in bliss. What? I do it, and I tell you what, people look at me and they're like, I've never seen anybody move that way with such an ambitious, it's so much joy. Speaker 2 53:37 It brings them joy. It brings them joy. People share that joy. That's what the world needs from you. That's what the world needs from everybody who's listening from this, share it. Compliment everyone. You see, when I'm at the grocery store and I'm waiting in line and I finally get up with the clerk who's, everybody's been complaining to her because they can't, you know, they're waiting in line. I compliment her or him. You know, I love you. I love what you run. I love the button on your shirt. I love your earrings, whatever. Like how's your day to day? Hey, where'd you come from? Right. Like be that good energy in the world. Cause guess what? The more you give out, the more you're going to get and it doesn't have feel better. This is gonna feel better. Like, okay, you're stuck in line, you're stuck in traffic, we'll give you a chance to listen to a podcast. Speaker 2 54:26 It gives you a chance to maybe check your email or call a friend or texting a friend or there's so much to bliss out about to be happy about. But you got to choose that. But the more you choose that cause, let me just explain this, the more I've done it, the more I've gotten better at it. So it's practice. So start with something little and then practice and you'll get a result and then it grows and then it grows and then it grows and then you can apply it to the bigger things in your life. Applied to bigger things. And then things just come to you. We were laughing when my son and I, when I was first discovering this and we were practicing and we were practicing and he's on podcast with me sometimes and he's 22 and he works in my business. Speaker 2 55:09 But anyway, we were practicing and products, they are energy and we were, I gave a speech, a talk at the speed engagement and we're driving home from it cause he recorded and he said, Oh, I'm going to drop the scope by home Depot because I need to get a new orange bucket cause I want to wash my car. I told you he's in the cars. And um, I said, sure. We were looking such good spirits or laughing with drive and listen to music. We walk into home Depot and we laughed out loud because home Depot was raining orange buckets for us. They were stocked up as high as the ceiling at the end of every aisle. And I know I've seen orange buckets at home people, but we've never seen orange buckets like that at home Depot before. And that's what happens when you're in the flow. We were laughing. We cannot believe the way they were everywhere. Like it's just, and that's the universe. Whatever you believe, that's God, that your angels, whatever you believe, it's all good. It's replying to you, responding to your energy, saying, see you want to orange bucket. We got orange buckets for you. And now we learned to practice that and things that are more and more important and we're still learning. I'm still a student of my own teachings. Absolutely. But you gotta call me on the phone. Can, can I offer to your listeners? Speaker 1 56:25 Absolutely. Go, go ahead. Speaker 2 56:27 So I'm all about giving, giving, giving, giving. I'm not about, which is the whole thing. I'm not about selling books. I'm about giving this information to people and any way I possibly can. I'm about getting this out. And this is my life's passion. I have other businesses that do find financial aid. This is my passion to get this in the hands of people. So if they go to Stressless, success.com Stressless success.com they're the only can, I'll give them a free book, but they'll also get immediate free PDF. It's like a three day Stressless success shift, I call it plant. It just gets started. A three day plan you can follow do this, day one, day two, day three, just kind of start making the shift, making this shift to feeling better and living better. And actually those that go ahead and request the book, which is called Stressless success. Speaker 2 57:18 Then I'm also going to give them a free workbook that helps you when you go through the book copy, really apply the teachings to your life and I'm going to give them a three day video series where I'm actually on the video teaching them some of these concepts, so I'm giving, giving, giving. It's available to you. Take advantage of it. I want you to have this information. This is so powerful, so important, and I want everybody to know this. You got to work your energy and it's not hard to do. You just got to practice, do the things and do the tools. Now people can call me, email me. It's all the information's on there. I'm glad to work with people one on one. I even do complimentary strategy sessions, a fee where you are. Invite me in to talk at your community, your, your, your group, your company. Speaker 2 58:07 Come in and talk and I give books and all that or come to one of my offsite retreats. I do empowerment retreats. There are power three leadership plus lifestyle retreats. I do them at different places across the country and bite me into your city. I'll come. I don't care if there's one people, one person, two people, 20 people, a hundred people. I want you to have this. This is my life's purpose and I'm handing to you what I truly believe is a secret to life. And I don't mean to sound arrogant. I, I please. It comes from my heart. It is the secret to life and I want everyone to have it. So thank you Hamza for inviting me on your podcast and given me an opportunity to share these ideas with your listeners. It means the world to me. You have no idea. Speaker 1 58:55 Yeah, and definitely thank you for the gifts too. So for those listening, again, it's Stressless success.com for all of those wonderful goodies. And as people start living in the flow and imagining and, and going about their lives, and they get this picture of buying some blue suede shoes, now they have these blue suede shoes and they don't know where to go to dance. Where would this empowerment retreat be so they can dance along with you? Speaker 2 59:21 Well, actually I'm doing one on March 14th, uh, in Boca Raton, Florida. That might be a little bit of short notice here. Uh, but um, but just get, if you go ahead and get on Joseph's Tessa column and request the free information, I'll have your information. I won't spam you, I promise and I don't sell your information, but I'll let you know when we're doing the next one. Or if you want one in your town, give me a call. I'll make it happen Speaker 1 59:48 in the, your, your book, is that on that site as well? Or you can get it on Amazon or maybe <inaudible> Speaker 2 59:53 yeah, it's on the side actually. Yeah, you can order it on Amazon or whatever. And this little thing I teach in the book about goal setting and a strategy. So I'm going to basic strategies, but it's a layer you never heard before about not only just writing your goals in the present tense of allergy, but writing what it feels like to achieve your goal and get the feeling, well, my son and I had the goal of getting, we thought, gosh, we're going to do this book launch. Can we even least get to like the top 10 of Amazon? Then you're on the Amazon bestseller. Actually, they have a hunt in the top 100 you're on an Amazon bestseller. I'm like, wouldn't that be cool? We get to the top 10 so every morning we had the school, but the first thing we did every morning when we sat down on our, during our preparation of our book launch, we checked our energy. Speaker 2 00:34 How's your energy? And if anybody was off, we're like, okay, let's clear our energy. Let's improve. Let's elevate. What can we do? Elevate our energy. But then we focused on our goal, but we released the outcome. We didn't stress about the outcome. Okay? We're like, we never did this. Look, launch ourselves before. We need to know what we're going to do. So we're going to do our best. Can we do our best yet? We're gonna do our best that we can on launching this book and whatever comes of it comes Yvette. And yes, we would like to be on the top 10 of the best seller, but we never did this before. We're going to do our best and we let it go. Well, we worked our energy and let me tell you what happened. We've got number one best seller and five Amazon categories and we're still number one and some of them have this day, two weeks later after the book launch. So this was amazing for us. Amazing. We applied the principles that are in this book we put them to use and they work. Speaker 1 01:31 Congratulations for that. And you have so much energy. Janet. I guess the last question I have is, is there any plans to do an audio version of your book? Speaker 2 01:41 Yes. Oh, thank you for reminding me. I do really want to do an audio version. I'm still coming off. This whole launch thing has been so huge that yes, I need to set time aside and a plan. Thank you for asking me and I plan to have that done because you've asked over the next quarter, three months or so, I will have the audio version done because that is really important. I love listening to books and especially like listening to podcasts. We're always on the go and isn't that wonderful in this day and age so we can do that. Plug in our ear buds or whatever, put them in our ears, plugged in our earphones and we've got these great podcasts and these great opportunities to learn and keep improving our lives. I'm an ongoing learner and we're really fortunate, so yes. Thank you for that question. Speaker 1 02:33 Oh, no problem at all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you have just been attained to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective. This is Hamza and it was a pleasure speaking with you, Janet. Let's stay in touch as you move onward and upward. Speaker 2 02:48 Thank you Hamza. It was a pleasure being here. I had a blast and I told you it was the best. Definitely is and was. Thank you so much for having me on the show. Speaker 1 02:57 Sure thing. Take care.