Motivation About Change – Nothing Will Change Unless You Change

Motivation About Change – Nothing Will Change Unless You Change
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Video Transcript

welcome to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective podcast where we meet experts from all walks of life to learn their intrinsic motivations so that they can share it with the world what do we have in store today stay tuned to find out more good morning good good afternoon everybody out there in podcast land you aren’t in to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a Homans perspective this is Hamza and I’m David and today we have the whole living consultant she is going to talk about her new book it’s jumpstart your life find your motivation and change your life one step at a time and as intrinsic motivation podcast we love anyone that will talk about finding your motivation wherever you may find it and without further ado I’d like to welcome Diane Randle to the podcast welcome Diane hello thank you for having me yes thanks for being here yeah thanks for being here and happy Martin Luther King holiday to you same to you guys there in Atlanta absolutely it’s huge here it’s kind of I don’t want to say our religion but you know the whole every country shut down but in Atlanta we go the extra mile since it is the birthplace not the birthplace but there was a huge impact to the civil rights and overall human development movement that started here in Atlanta and I I definitely want to bring that up as well because many people will have the day off so if they’re not going to any parades or going to the king house if they’re not in Atlanta they may take the time to listen to this and if you’re in the government I mean you have the day off anyway it’s open for you to listen and I think it’s a good opportunity for people to listen to you as well because they there are a lot of people finding themselves outside of their comfort zone and it’s not through their own or they would still it’s not through their own power so they may feel powerless and so listening to a message such as yourself that could be there rather empower me yeah I wrote this book jump start in life I released it last year November of 2017 it’s a still the workshop or still is and I’ve taught for 10 years and I thought it was time to clear into a book it’s evolved evolved evolved over the past ten years so I got it to a place where I felt it could really deal service for people who want to create something different in their lives and I like the fact that it was a workshop because many people will read a book and then put it down and read another book and not really apply what was learned in that book so did you find that was also the case in you marrying the workshop and the book together well this book just like the workshop it’s very intuitive because it’s not about me telling you what your life should be or what you want for yourself it’s walking through 10 jumpstart exercises that I have put together and evolved over 10 years it’s a very interactive book and as well as the workshop because if you don’t do the exercises then you you know it’s hard to figure out in the end what is my one step that I can take what is my action plan that I can execute to jumpstart my life in this particular direction now Before we jump into the workshop because it sounds really interesting I do you want to highlight some of the exercises obviously not all 10 because then those people need to get the book in sign of what you mentioned that you know it’s 30 10 years ago and it’s working progress I’m sure it will continue to be but what what puts you in the position to actually set up a workshop where you incorporate and decided to do something on your own or what led you to where you are today I am so happy you asked that question before the book it was a like I said it’s a workshop before that it was a an article that I for a lady who had a magazine this was years ago probably twelve thirteen years ago and she well longer than that actually when I think about it but she asked me to write a story about my my life being a young mother who left her City and moved with two small children to a city with no support network or family and how I got to the point where I could step out of my comfort zone leave something I knew very well and create something new for myself so it was an article about stepping out of your comfort zone and then I did a presentation on how to step out of your comfort zone find the motivation inside yourself and create something different so that was the presentation and then when I got an opportunity or created an opportunity to teach workshops I just started evolving and teaching that presentation and over the past ten years based on feedback and people that show up for my workshops I’ve been able to evolve the workshop and then after ten years I said okay hey ready for a book I love it the one take away from what you just mentioned was that you created an opportunity can you talk a little bit about how opportunities present themselves it reminds me of movies when we’re yelling at the screen don’t do it on that dark hallway and there could be two people witnessing something and you see an opportunity the other person doesn’t how do you get that muscle to mature well first of all and I talked about this everything my teaching workshop it’s I don’t giving yourself permission to release any barriers you may have against you so open-minded and unlimited in DC in your life or what you don’t see for example creating an opportunity meant for me is just that I can to prevent have an excellent presentation having a passion for what I was Oh building example Oh care with other I will here microphone day and you’re breaking up a lot okay K him now yeah now you’re clear again okay I’m so sorry so it was being a single newly divorced mother who had no money who relied on everyone in the family basically at that time being newly divorced to support me in my kids in one way or another in terms of babysitters because it was a new experience to be be alone now to raise two children and at the time I didn’t have a job that was very good so it’s like how am I going to pull this off but it was working on myself when I say that it was okay what do I want I want a better life what does that look like okay I have a degree I need to finish that degree and it’s going back to college getting that degree but also recognizing inside of myself and I talked about discomfort in my book that I’m feeling that I need to leave where I’m really comfortable with family friends a great support network to create a life that’s more in line with what I want for myself and I had every reason in the world okay who’s going to watch the kids you know there’s no family in Chicago where are you gonna work so it’s stepping outside of that and and practicing and working that muscle as you say to say that I can create this so what do I need to do first thing I need to do and I always felt at that time was I need to find a job and if I find a job that’s good enough because at that time I had graduated from college because I knew I couldn’t do anything unless I graduated from college well that would give me the confidence to move and find a job I would say because I had examples all around me of people that have gone to college and then they move to different cities so that gave me a little courage right here that I need a job and and and their job will based on my calculations of what I need to do to live on give me the the money that I need to live and that was really what I needed to get started and then everyone around me especially my family they had a lot of fear of me I had had a three year old at the time and I had almost nine year old at the time looks like you have no one you’re trying to leave with those kids but I believed in myself enough that I if I can get the salary I mean and believe in myself enough I will figure out or I can hire a baby or you know I’ll have the income so every negative that was thrown at me I created something positive and I believed in what I was thinking about because I always told myself what do I have to lose worst case scenario I’d end up back home and home is not a bad place you home in st. Louis with my family that’s not a bad you know thing if that happened it’s just that I’ll be home again so even recruiters at the time would tell me oh nobody’s going to hire you to work in Chicago one guy told me this why would a recruiter hire you in Chicago and they have people that they mean their and that’s one thing people knew about me then and now is that I didn’t believe that I believe that all I needed was one opportunity I needed one yes one yes to a job so fast forward not only did I find a job I found someone to back me up from my hometown I got a bonus once I started my job and they put us up in a hotel for a year so and this was after a year so fast forward a whole year TAS and then I try I feel like I got this opportunity because I focused I said intention on what I really wanted and I did a lot of work to make it happen and that means driving to from my hometown to Chicago where I live it now just using every opportunity to find a job fine the thing that we’re getting to Chicago and it paid off it sounds like and it’s a lot like Malcolm Gladwell he talks about the outliers and that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert and so it’s kind of marrying what you’re saying about one step at a time and for you to hear from other recruiters and what have you the nose if you got that one yes how many notes did he count them those or well yeah that’s what I’m gonna this was before the internet okay so I had over 700 rejection love letters and you asked how do I know that number because I kept my rejection letters in a shoe box and I’m always asked this question why would you keep the rejection letters I kept the rejection letters to allow me to stay focus and integrate it on that one yes because I believe if you keep focus on what you really want and you’re putting the work in I believe it because it’s happened more time since then that that I will definitely create something intentional about this so I didn’t read the stuff I just kept them you know and I felt it’s also a numbers game somebody’s going to say yes eventually and I didn’t put the pressure on myself to be to be in Chicago at a certain time and I was just so open to what the experience would bring I didn’t say well I have to work for this kind of personal Beck I didn’t have all those all those things in my way I was so open to what the experience could bring that once I got the right opportunity and I knew in my heart it was the right opportunity not only was it the right opportunity I actually got more than I bargained for more than I expected in different circles some people say let go let God other circles it’s getting clear and it seems like with your intention of being in the right place at the right time that’s when the opportunity presents itself we are aware of it would you would you say about that what would I say with that it’s it’s it’s it’s just sitting with that intention what do you want and it’s it’s having that whether it’s a mental checklist a physical checklist a spiritual checklist it’s doing what I call the work to make this particular thing happen because had I not been so intentional and focused about applying for jobs coming to job fairs at the time to create what I call a momentum of energy for that particular thing that I want it you got to create that momentum and then once you create that momentum I believe anything can happen so at one time I’m interviewing I’m talking to people on the phone so that even to this day I always feel I have to get that I call it activity now get that momentum going and then that activity and that momentum something will come something will come but it’s because of the work that I’m doing I’m not just there let me go for some higher power to say okay here you got this not that not that in the big scheme of things that’s not what’s happening but there’s work for me to do so I want the listeners to be clear there is work to do because I believe that yes I believe the higher power it makes it happen but you have to be integrated in that spirit of what you really really want it sounds like from a relationship standpoint and from a business standpoint that the universe kind of checks in with you to make sure that’s what you want like you set the intention and I hear this from relationship experts that we speak to they’re like I don’t have a partner or something like that right and so they get this activity you’re talking about and then the universe kind of comes in like okay well here’s this person here is that person then it scares the PERT it scares the other person like oh my goodness I’m really getting what I wanted and you’re maybe right exactly yeah I say it’s not so much that you won’t get what you want the question is are you ready are you really ready are you ready to proceed we see whatever this opportunity will bring I had one client at one time you know she wanted to leave town like I like it was similar to me and she says oh I want to leave and I said not so much that the work you put it won’t keep won’t at some point give you what you want the question is are you ready to go because once you get it you’re like oh my god I’m not sure oh I don’t know what is my brother gonna say my mother goes you know what I think you happy it’s all ready for this experience to happen so nine times out of ten it’s are you ready for what will happen at some point yeah I think that the saddest thing that I’ve experienced was dealing with people end of their lives and they had this one feeling of regret that they didn’t ultimately do what they wanted to do so you know if we only have one turn around this globe around this big blue ball I mean you should make the most of it and it sounds like you were definitely in that headed in that direction headed in that direction and in my book jumpstart your life it’s not you know it’s like we have this this energy I’ll call it inside of us whether it’s that discomfort that that inkling in your heart or your gut that there’s something else there’s something else I’m supposed to be doing and I feel everybody has been whether you stuff it down ignored or what you know what I mean so it’s what I do in my workshops and what this book does is it helps you to get in touch with whatever that is I have people who who show up at my workshops who are successful entrepreneurs I have a lot of like empty nesters because it’s almost like once the kids go off to college or wherever they’re going you now have space you have space inside who to think about what is this feeling I’m feeling again I felt these years ago and you know I just started working and having a family and it went away but now here it is again so what I do is help people to tap into that energy or that feeling to say what is it what is this you’re feeling and we also go through looking at the current priorities because one thing I also I also feel and kind of have had experience with this on is does your daily choices and priorities line up to what you really want for yourself and how you really want to use your time and be in this world and nine times out of ten I once they do this life balance inventory or this priority assessment what they see is is not that they didn’t know but it’s all we really to see oh my god I’ve been using my time this way I’ve been you know going to a job that takes me two and a half hours no wonder I can’t fit myself or fit my goals and dreams into my life no wonder I’m so busy so that’s tough that’s what I love about this course because I take you through not only creating a plan for your dreams but also how do you take something off your plate of life how do you reveal to yourself where you’re basically not using your time to support what you really want right and it sounds like with the for us living on earth right there dimension that there has to be some type of contrast for this to happen and so do you think you would be this far down the road had you not gone through a divorce oh I believe everything that has happened to me that you would asking it when I was you know when I was young I got the divorce I would have said are you crazy but of course yes yes because failure and and believe me it has not been a smooth journey you know it has not been a smooth journey what I’ve done is I stuck with it if something didn’t work I would I would sometimes you need a minute because guess what that job that that moves me to Chicago and and gave me a lot of money as a bonus one offer first motive they laid me off a year later you know but guess what it even when I got in the bed and I’ve never lost a job before here I am with my two kids and I’m again somewhere where I don’t have life simply I had the kind of people around me out of that bed I had the kind of people around me that would not let me feel sorry for myself you know for losing a job I’ve never not they didn’t you know that yeah I hear that story but what what are you going to do you got to get it together because guess what you do have interviews you know you’re the same person that created the experience to get there and have that job guess what now you can’t lose that here you got to keep going and that led me to my next career that I’m still I have my own business but it led me to my next career and I’m still in that industry to this day I love it in Ellen’s baby for you being laid off a year later to be topical right because there are is a portion of the population that’s like what’s the safest sanctuary that I could be in and for many that was the government as a government job I can retire there after 30 years and get a cold watch and right now a lot of people are really questioning that because that once cushy secure position is now in jeopardy so so you’re so correct you’re so so because the people that have the hardest time are the people who have that security that it’s fall security and that falls safety and I say that because even outside the government and you guys know this you can lose your job just because one company’s bought another just because we’ve had a bad quarter so lose your job at any time and that whole experience what you’re talking about right now should be definitely an opportunity to look at life in a different way even though I’ve been online it’s always said you answer the question what would I do market sound turn yes yeah well not even that let’s go back ten years ago so like 2008-2009 where we had some [Music] Mende accountant accounting department I hung around all accounting people I didn’t really network or things like that so when I was let go then I’m now competing against everyone in that department and I don’t have that Network built outside of that so what would you say to someone that is used to being like to get out of our comfort zone because of the uncertainty in the job market very position even if you’ve been there 30 users if 2008 or this government shutdown doesn’t teach you anything is to know that that 30-year old job may not necessarily mean anything tomorrow and then not only that you’re expected to work anyway it’s awful so uh-huh really it’s a lot to contend with when you need your paycheck so I would say look at your plan B ask yourself what would I do if I did not have this job answered that question and I believe if you answered that question honestly who would I be what would I be doing then that offers a level of comfort in that you have your next move if you have to use it if you haven’t updated your resume at 30 years I offer that you do that even if you don’t need to use it you have it so it’s putting into practice from a mental spiritual level that there is so much impermanence in everything and we have to realize that we have to realize that no matter how long because I have two relatives that have been in the government for years and they’re that the set comfort level it’s that comfort level and they don’t have to deal with a lot of the issues when the job is working that regular people who work at standard work at corporations deal with like they don’t have to they haven’t had to worry about getting laid off but guess what you have to understand that everything is temporary whether you use the word impermanence whether it’s a government shutdown it’s just here to teach you that you need to think about what can I do or what would I do if I did not have this job and then work I feel that will reveal a lot to you oh I would be an HR representative so what does that mean do you have the experience what is the reality of what you’re talking about being an HR representative versus where you are today does does that mean you would need more school does that mean you will need more context the answer is probably yes turbo so I would say even if you don’t need it package it up get it ready to go plan it out so thinking about I was thinking about when biking to Atlanta it was one of those family things where oh you know you have a cousin here or you know a family member was there and you’ve had done it in the time before the internet as well what would you do differently to connect with possible networks in the new city that you’re about to change your life and move to oh it is it is so much easier now because you have if you’re going to a certain city you could join some Meetup if you’re if you’re going to a certain company you can go on in and all and sign up for LinkedIn and really reach out to your new colleagues you can go on Facebook if there’s a particular network that you’re interested in I know for me back then it was Association of MBAs it was Association I had to physically show up or the day process innocence it should just groups of people that I could start networking with and talking to Sona so that we do arrive to the city you kind of have some familiarity of the city of the city and the people so it’s good to really look at the city really dig into where you’re going to live really understand not only the Geographics of where you’re going to live but the demographics as well opposed to maybe 25 30 years ago you know absolutely and talk a little bit about those said networks what’s the best way to do it some people believe if I go to a bunch of networking meetings maybe once and everybody should know me and that’s not usually how it works so how what’s the best way to maneuver through these different networking groups well I believe today is not it’s not enough to just sign up or like a page you know it’s a Facebook you need to show up you need to introduce yourself you need to go to networking events and actually introduce yourself physically and meet these people because you never know where your opportunities will come from and I’m not advocating that you fill your calendar every day with something but you should be able to commit to at least once a month to relevant networking associations if it’s a job that you know you’re interested in then you look at the relevant career Association Network or if it’s an interest that you have you look for those groups but it’s all about showing up showing up participating and like I said it’s intention and part of your work and intention is to show up and meet people let them get to know you because guess what you always say you have no idea where your next opportunity will come from you have no idea so if you’re out there creating that momentum I talked about then you have no idea what will show up for you what will manifest the things I say interesting Diane Hans and I are both a part of an intention group and you mentioned intentions so and the power of it can talk a little bit about your expenses with with using putting your intentions well I love the word or I love the experience of intention intention is paying deep july’s in president terms who you are what you want how you see your life if it’s a career how you see that career how you see every level of that career the people you are around the neighborhood you live in it’s practicing seeing what you want in the present tense in the present tense and it’s focused time attention and energy on doing the work it takes to make that particular experience happen so I call it intention because it has to be conscious work it has to be conscious to make those things happen yeah yeah you seem to have just listening to you you’re very good at being in present time and even though you might have things mapped out where you want to go it’s like you realize you have to you know one step at a time and I’m going to deal with what’s on my plate first right in front of me and be totally focused on that before you move to the next step it’s just like I guess or someone if someone was going to run like a marathon you don’t just or you train you don’t just go out run 26 miles you learn the – maybe master mile first and you work from Alta – and just kind of build build your build you know up to 26 miles you build up to 26 miles but here’s the beautiful thing about intention sometimes when your intention your intention and your focus something bigger than you ever dreamed up it’s so much bigger than what you expected yeah so much bigger that’s what happens with intention and I always say I mean I’ve had things show up it you know totally oh man can I really do this you know yeah watch my ass Wow hey it’s great to ask for it but but then are you ready are you ready for something even bigger Oh manifest from your intention that’s a that’s a two-part question because one which are saying is that maybe we’re aiming too low or we’re thinking too low of ourselves for what we want to do next in universe of selling hey you know think bigger so what would you how would you compare what you were thinking about as far as next steps when you first started versus today there is no like I don’t use the word comparison that’s uh to me that’s a it’s a word that I don’t put into any anything I’m trying to do so what what what I mean is that you start right where you are right where you are you don’t have to be in a certain place to run a marathon it’s like where are you okay I’m gonna need some some lessons to even learn how to run before I even start practicing for this marathon so it’s it’s another person may be ready to just train for the marathon so it’s wherever you are that’s where you start my whole intention and and and and and what I share with people is to explore where are you and be honest about that and what do you need to basically build yourself up to whatever you want in your life whether it’s school whether it’s a career a first career it’s where are you where are you start right where you are and don’t put any pressure on yourself about being a certain place it’s just being open to the experience without judgment without labeling yourself and that’s that’s a such a tall order for many of us but that’s where the work is how do I release these barriers how do I let go of the past and the labels that are in my way of moving forward that’s a really good point and to be topical since it is MLK weekend right he’s most known for I had a dream right and so most people today fast forward do not know how to dream so there may be something that’s just like at the back of my mind that something needs to change and I find myself either reading your book or attending your workshop but when you’re talking about dream or a marathon that’d be great you know in high school I used to run track but I’m also good at I don’t know underwater basket-weaving so how do you help a person you notice a like people come to you like will help me dream this and that’s like kind of a tall order no and I would say after 10 years I do have people that not too many too interestingly that say I have no idea of what I want so so that’s an indication to me that we probably need to spend time on releasing all the things that are in the way the barriers the limiting beliefs about a particular thing and if people don’t know I always say what did you love to do when you child you know when you are free to dream and think about things what do you love about being a child did you like art did you like painting did you sing and when I a lot of times with the people who don’t really know what they want more often than not they can say you know what I used to love flying airplanes you know toy airplanes I used to love I used to love certain things but you know what I was told that I’m not going to make any money so for as an example so I let that go but guess what fast forward in midlife they show up in my workshops because guess what that inkling that desire and this is how you know the difference between underwater basket-weaving and something else we talked about if it’s true to your soul because it will keep coming up the same thing it may not have a label underwater basket-weaving but if you wrote down all the characteristics of that it could be called underwater basket-weaving or it could have been called weaving baskets underwater you know what I’m saying it’s it’s it’s what’s in my heart that keeps showing up and then I have to keep trying things and I tell people who don’t know I said okay go to an underwater basket-weaving class for example go here go listen to an underwater basket-weaving a speaker for example what about that speech or what about that class resonates with you because you can find real life you can find real takeaway real life things that you can mimic in your own life or model in your own life to get to what you really want I can go I would go hear a speaker and man it was totally totally resonate with me for example a few years ago I went to a temple and I heard a young event she gave a speech she walked on the stage he says my name is a young event and I have a master’s in spiritual psychology that’s that particular statement right there resonated so deeply with me I couldn’t wait to get home to Google her and master’s in spiritual psychology because I could not get that out of my head so I found the school I called them I’m thinking okay this is online that’s cool you know I’m interested and I called them and basically they say oh no this is not online you have to show up to send them to Santa Monica California for two years basically on a week one weekend out of the month and I’m like oh my god that is a lot you know so I tried to find a similar program in Chicago of course you know oh my god I can’t do that that’s that’s big you know that’s what I’m telling myself but guess what I ended up going to that school I did the two years and what I took I just it just kept hitting me deeply and there was nothing else to suffice it every time I got on the phone with the administration helpless I wanted to go even more so I decided this is a tall order you know with everything but everything it’s a tall order to go from Chicago to Santa Monica for two years but you know what I said I’m going to take this small steps one month at a time one month at a time and then in my second year school I get this up I go to Germany for six months so guess what I’m flying from Germany to Santa Monica for box hello there but I was missing I was ready even though like I said you have no idea of what might happen when you said attention and you you follow your heart and you’re doing the things that that allow you to serve others you have no idea of what will come up and then it was like wow this is big but guess what I did it I did it well one so it’s you we see you’re like your biggest who is your biggest inspiration along this journey I always I have like four people in my life for people who have and it’s not a celebrity I have people that I look up to like I have a she’s my best friend I called her my angel she’s been in she’s she’s uh we met 30 years ago and she’s been in my life I feel she’s always held a space for need to mature and grow I feel like I have these people in my life who are here to support me and these are people who every time I talk to them I get a new idea or or I’ll share something that’s crazy or going on you know I’ll fall off the wagon and I have people in my life that will give me objective feedback that don’t judge me that support me and it’s it’s just been an awesome ride and I’m saying this after knowing for people for like 25 years 25 30 years that they’re there I feel – just give me that that upliftment and support that I need whether it’s something that’s bad happening whether you know life gets in the way things happen sometimes you don’t know what you’re going to do or how you’re going to recover so it’s having people that are so supportive that don’t tell you what you need to do but give you the space they talk to you and you have the conversation to allow yourself to recognize that you know what this is this is just a part of something that’s happening and it’s more about the solution to recover and I would say now at this point that’s all the kind of people I have in my life and these are fellow coaches these are here killers practitioners these are a couple of friends from when I was young you know it’s just having that community of upliftment not you know I want to be like this person or that person but I have other people that I’ve admired like there are spiritual healers and teachers like a young one like a young events and Ram Dass there’s Joe Dispenza their teeth other teachers I’ve had that that has inspired me to the work that that that I’m doing today I think the part that you mentioned about having that support network is really healthy and that you don’t feel separate from everyone else especially going down this journey it could feel isolating at times so it’s good that you can have people over the year to kind of bounce ideas off Oh yep and I’ve learned this through experience because I’ve lost like best friends because you know in the beginning you try to bring everybody along with you but I feel that if you if you don’t look at it as your journey your individual journey and what happens is you start meeting like-minded people not to say that you don’t have people in your life that aren’t on your journey but it’s hard to expect people that family members close people to want the same thing you want that that’s a I tried it it does it doesn’t work it fit but it’s having that support having that love from family and friends that and at the same time you have the space to go in and do your thing go do your journey we’re right here for you but also having like-minded people that love what you love and that you can have conversations with to get ideas to be that person you want to be people that understand your journey that are not your family that goes a long way so then how do you how do you celebrate some of your progress –is oh I’m always celebrating I celebrate whenever and this is what I get today whenever I teach a workshop or I speak to a group and I impacted someone or inspired someone even if it’s one person man that fills me up it fills me up but I celebrate in ways where I believe I have to stay on the path I’ll go to I still go to spiritual retreats I go to silent retreats I do things to continually learn and feel myself and these are all things that make me happy I have fun I can do anything I want to do at this point in my life and I’m happy and I’m happy so it’s all internal things that I derive from the work I do now and every time I talk to someone and they say Oh Diane out that help me or they or I see that they couldn’t figure something out and they figured it out all of that inspires me and makes me happy and it’s worked and it’s it’s that’s how I know that I’m on the right path of what I want to do with my life I’m a big movie buff Diane so when I go to the movies I like one that before it starts and says silence is golden and many of us have these weapons of mass distraction with social media and everything that it’s not really quiet at all you don’t have time to think I like for you to share or one of your experiences by going to a silent retreat okay as I’ve gone a silent retreat I’m fine less and less of mainstream TV and I say mainstream because every now and then I like certain movies you know I like certain things certain movies I love movies but not the DUS and all the negativity so it’s finally the Fermi recognize that a lot of the input that I get in my life is so negative and toxic and distracting and also it conditions me to be one way or another so going to a salary treat allows me because you have to be quiet and in the one that I’ve gone to for the past five years you have to be quiet for four days and what I’ve recognized from that man that is I know how I feel or what I would do but the result is I feel like it’s just my brain everything it’s time to talk last few seconds the input that’s coming into my brain is like wow that’s a lot and I’m back to normal I’m checked back in you know but but it’s been a blessing and I’m attracted to it I want it you know I seek it out every seeker now I’m trying no swiping here you know I love it allows me to renew but it also may be what it comes to my head what what is coming into my mind what is coming into my spirit so you know like I said it allowed me to say I don’t need to be watching this so-called news you know because because that input may not be the best input for me Diane Randall so what I find it when I I don’t want to be around toxic people I don’t I don’t want to hear all the drama of life not to say that you cannot call me and we can’t talk about solutions to a certain experience that you’re having but I’ve learned how to recognize what the best thing for me in terms of keeping a lot of the toxic toxicity and negativity out of my life with the input that comes in you can’t control everything right but but I do little things to help myself we have two large silent retreats here in Atlanta and they’re usually three to four days sometimes you can go as a couple which is really interesting and for those back-end that is you the first day like you said it’s that monkey mind so you’re just trying to sew people that can kind of get past that first or second day that’s when that I think the light really turns on so it’s really encouraging that I’m talking to someone else that goes to silent the trees or therefore not yeah they are for now and I didn’t even know I think you have to say okay I’m going to try it to know because I don’t I don’t know if I would have been ready for the silence even ten years ago because because it’s like wow I remember my first reaction years ago with my friend mention it to me I’m like oh my god I don’t know if I can do that and then I got to a place you know what I’m ready to try that I’m really ready to experience that I have no idea what to expect which is good mm-hmm and it worked out I love going absolutely and once I have a linear question so when people initially get together via matrimony and what-have-you there are on the same page and a lot of respects but we all mature differently at different phases of our life so I want to know what’s it like if you work with people at your workshops that are couples because in some cases that that union may actually split because they’re going through such dramatic changes what are some ways that you work with cover oh it’s always interesting but what I love about couples they walk in there thinking they have identical thinking and they want the same thing but upfront I encourage them to be individuals and they learn so much about it because what we talked about just being just being who you are and it’s oh and it’s okay to be a couple but you’re also an individual thinker and a lot of times couples don’t realize that especially if they’ve been together for a long time so I encourage the individuality like through the exercises like come on let me see what you have you know and when I got the left I was like no I’m not going to let you see I thought that was beautiful no they learned they learn about each other I didn’t know you felt that way I think they’re beautiful when that happens so yeah I get plenty of couples but I encourage the individuality as they walk through the process and and I haven’t had anybody reject that idea it’s hard though sometimes but we talk about it we talk through it I don’t rush through the first the first part of my class because we’re talking about barriers limiting beliefs starting where you are because you might think because you’re a couple that that’s starting where you are peace means you both know exactly where each other are starting and my times out of ten it’s such a surprise when they find out it’s not I love it that’s funny because you have an upcoming setting healthy boundaries workshop and if you can give us just a peek into you have ten jumpstart exercises what is your first exercise that can get people started and set their friend of mine my first exercise that gets people thought it is to basically start where you are in that particular process starting where you are it’s really taken an inside look to when you are in your life the reality of where you are in the gap between what you really really want for yourself is being honest it’s exploring inside uh y-you feel you can’t do a certain thing because a lot of people show up saying because if they could do it they would have done it but a lot of times what are the barriers that are stopping me why haven’t I been able to move through the process of figuring out what I want so starting right where you are and being honest with yourself about what it is you want and what barriers are present in your life whether it’s beliefs your beliefs I call it limiting beliefs you know about that particular thing that you want whether if you feel there’s someone who is it you know you’re thinking about other people who might not like your choices if I could do what I wanted that means I’m going to have to change my friends I may even have to get divorced you know just that serious sometimes and a lot of people are afraid to to go there and I just say go there explore because it’s really about what you want to make your life better richer happier more joyful you have to determine what that means and it’s okay if you go there and you decide oh my god I can’t do that right now that is fine too but at least you started the process I always tell my workshop students the fact that you showed up tells me you’re ready you’ve already started the process and what’s the what’s the follow up that they go to I I can’t learn how to dream you taught me how to dream what’s the follow up after they finish share your workshops well they finish my workshops and I am available to speak to anyone to support and I do that sometimes they read this book or they attend a workshop and and there’s you know I’m stuck right here or I have this belief that I just can’t get past or one man said my wife is never going to let you do this you know so sometimes you need more support you need more conversation but in the work I do I am present for people that that want to be what you know that needs other health I have I did a podcast for three years 2019 it’s the first year of I haven’t done it balanced living for busy professionals I’ve always brought people on the podcast that had value tips for my community so that those are two things that that they can do but just knowing that they can always get you some time to talk to me about anything awesome and so jumpstart your life find your motivation in life one step at a time what’s the first step to get in touch with Diane to get your book and sign up for your workshops you can go to my website wwlp.com and you can find my contact information there’s a link to the book there’s also a link to schedule a free 20 minute one-on-one consultation to see if you know there’s even if I can support you or if we have something in common to help bring what you want to manifest in their life fantastic well you have just been tuned to another episode of intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective this is Hamza and I’m David Diane it was a pleasure let’s definitely stay in touch oh that’s awesome I’ve enjoyed it thank you both thanks for being it thank you you listen to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective on radio public it’s a free easy-to-use app that helps listeners like you find and support shows like ours when you listen to our show on radio public we receive direct financial support every time you hear in episode experience our show and radio public today by listening to the show link in our episode notes and thank you for listening you [Music]


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