Rolfing And Emotional Trauma – How Rolfing Can Help Your Emotional And Energetic Body

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Video Transcript

welcome to intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective podcast where we meet experts from all walks of life to learn their intrinsic motivations so that they can share it with the world what do we have in store today stay tuned to find out more good morning good evening good afternoon everybody out there and podcast Landis is intrinsic motivation from a homies perspective I am honza and I am David and I’m really interested in our podcast today we’re speaking with Robert Park he has a new book of baby and child massage and I’m really interested in learning more about dealing with children or at a young age giving them massage as an aside my personal experience being born in New Jersey growing I mean being born in Philadelphia growing up in New Jersey when I moved to Florida it seemed like with the Latin community they were more touchy-feely they had a closer personal space than he didn’t know it’s East and I’m wondering if Robert can kind of pointed in the right direction I’m sure he will but I’m thinking that they had more human contact or the culture was just different so without further ado I’d like to welcome Robert comport to the podcast welcome to the podcast Robert well thank you and we can I said what can I say about the so touchy-feely thing you know we’re not we’re not we’re in a pretty precarious position in our culture at the moment with all of the allegations of sexual abuse and stuff like that and so people are going to become hyper sensitive to the idea of touch and appropriate touch an inappropriate touch so my book hands on parenting a practical guide to massage for happier healthier smarter kids I think that the point of it is is that very few parents that I’ve met and I’ve met many parents actually use touch as one of the most ago is one of the significant methods of raising their babies or children and there’s such a vast lack of knowledge about the absence of it and that’s primarily because so many people in charge have never had a massage I am profoundly shocked at how many people I’ve met have never had a massage so the hopefully this book will help turn the tide absolutely and I will build publicly on record and say that I almost proposed a couple of times so I know that there’s a huge gap in my life when I do not get them applies and I know it’s time to do so but since you’re dealing with so many parents let me ask you from a from a child perspective what you’ve seen there has been some preliminary research I’m sure you can dive deeper into this that when that child starts born that those minutes are so critical that they have to fill that mother is touched and if they don’t they’re already fed off on a on a wrong tangent with what sort of take on that when I take is the problem with what you just said and you said a mother’s touch and very seldom do we ever talk about a father’s father’s touch so when my son was born I am actually a advanced certified Roth practitioner I study directly with dr. Rolf the last four years of her life and I pioneered Rolfing babies and children and in the back of my mind was always I brought the number of babies like five weeks old six weeks old but never a newborn and it was always in the back of my mind that the best time would tip would be to begin at the beginning and the first half an hour that my son was born while they were stitching up his mother I got to touch my baby I got to hold him and and I gave him his first walking session and I have been a hands-on father for a long time actually my original book I wanted to call it massage her babies and children for fathers because fathers oftentimes don’t have the emotional wherewithal they are out working hard construction workers whatever and people using their brain but they don’t come and back home and connect with their feelings and they aren’t in touch with their children’s feelings or their own feelings so I think it’s just equally as important for a father’s touch as it is for other such and I think it’s critical in that first few moments as that baby’s been in the womb for a few months everything was all taken care of we think we come out of the womb when we say wallah I’m free but we don’t we say oh my god I got to survive and and there’s no more safety net and the best safety net for a newborn baby is either a mother’s touch or father’s touch thank you now since it is we talk a little bit offline about you know little jabs since you do live in Philadelphia go Eagles and you know hopefully they will pull it out for the rest of the year but I bring that up because when you think of sports or you think of someone winning some type of accolades championships the first thing they say is thanks mom or hi mom love you mom and you know the father’s a distant second if you hear about them at all and could you make the connection that because they weren’t getting that emotional connection with their father via touch at the beginning that it kind of exacerbates the situation a lot of professional athletes well that’s one that’s that’s for sure and it goes back to another thing before is is it we don’t actually train fathers to be fathers now my son’s mother unfortunately died when he was 10 and I started taking him to school every morning and in elementary school and after a few days I noticed that when the women came out they started talking to each other they did not talk to me and I said oh my god there’s a woman’s club and kind of like got profoundly you know I got profoundly related to the fact that there’s a woman when women get together what they talk about is your children and their cooking and their you know what they’re doing and how they’re nurturing their children and what fathers get together to talk about work or talk about sports or something like that so we need to have a whole change in the culture between mothers and fathers and mothers have to understand that fathers are critical and critically important I deal with a lot of I run a nonprofit program where we distribute computers to people the county ported by new ones about 15,000 of them so far and 85% of those computers went to women raising children alone without the input of their fathers so I don’t know I’m going to do everything I can to empower fathers to read this book and to get in touch with themselves and get in touch with their children and then have a conversation with their wives and their children about the importance of touch safe touch and then you know one of the better one of the best things about the whole thing is if you do this with your children early they’ll grow up giving you massages well I mean this is intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective so there’s three guys on here talking about massage before you go into the benefits of talking about giving your children or babies a massage what are some of the stigmas that we have men face as far as like you first started out touchy-feely so you know what are the preconceived notions of even venturing into this topic of conversation well I’m also a member of a minority journalists group of journalists and what I knows about in minority communities especially low-income already minority communities and there’s a mendès amount of incest happening on the planet that does not get reported that does not get dealt with I have a good friend who I met recently and he’s a father and he was incarcerated for a number of years got out and it turned his life around and while he was incarcerated his daughter was living with his wife and her boyfriend and her boyfriend abused his daughter and now she’s suffering from severe mental issues so there’s a lot of things that happen to people that stay hidden I have I have if you read the book I I talked about some of those things for myself my mother was not giving me massages to raise me she was giving me not spankings but little literal beatings and so when you bring up the idea of touch in a world in which touch is absent the first thing people do is look at you like you’re weird like you’re you’re from Mars and especially it’s not every day that a 70 year old white Vietnam veteran writes a book about massage and early childhood development but I happened I was waiting for somebody else to do it but they didn’t so I get happy 2-1 and yeah so now I’m going to use my my sense of humor to promote the idea and hopefully because I am somebody who’s profoundly related to that idea and I have an incredible experience and background and foundation to support what I’m talking about people will listen and they are starting to we like to talk about perception a lot on the podcast and you know everyone has their own perception and of everything and I wanted to get your take like you said for this subject matter if we just read hands-on parenting a practical guide to massage for happy or healthy healthier smarter kids and there’s a beautiful baby on the cover by the way that’s great but we would I guess the general perception would be that a woman would be the author of that with what type of feedback or thought process were you thinking about when you wrote the book after doing it on your own versus partnering with a female counterpart unfortunately I’m not that smart I wrote the book not because I’m a you know great author because they came up with the idea that I was start a project of one of the worst drug neighborhoods of the world where I took my roughing table and my massage table out to a neighborhood where there were more drug dealers and drug addicts walking around the streets in Philadelphia then there were people that were living there and if you’re fulfilled up here you might know what I’m talking about by North Philadelphia and I set up my table and I said hey who wants a roughing session who wants a massage I had a little sign that a posture and one kid got up on the table and she worked on it for about half an hour with her clothes on nice and safe her father was there and she got up how do you feel and she felt good and the next kid got up and we kept doing that for awhile and a friend of mine owned a book publishing company Running Press and he came to me one day and said can you write you know what do you think about writing a book on massage for babies and children I said sounds like a good idea to me he came back a couple weeks later says well can you write it and not knowing that I couldn’t I said I could so they actually paid me to write that book and it was called the new book of baby and child massage the reason I wrote this book is because that book didn’t have a lot of the things that I wanted in it and references dropping and dr. Rothman and early childhood development and so I got the rights back from the publisher so I didn’t think I haven’t thought twice about partnering with a woman and writing it now I don’t feel bad about it I think that I’m kind of good at being a pioneer and I think that more men have to get involved in this conversation and more women have to respect that idea from their men not only respect that I did but expect it from their their men that they are hands-on parent and I don’t mean just you know coming home and sitting down and playing games I mean literally knowing something about their children knowing something about their brains knowing something about the imports of neurological development and I put tons of simple common-sense tips in the book that are not common practice but if somebody just did a few of those things it would fundamentally change how they raise their babies or children Robert you mentioned a little earlier that you have been trained in walking or certified or certified for those that don’t know we’re working is can you talk about that or explain what that is well my definition is a little bit different than the traditional Roper because I study directly we talked to Ralph and she planted a couple seeds in my brain that the other golfers haven’t picked up on that memo yet but I my view of it is from the moment we’re conceived we are in a ball in a womb and that’s called flexors muscles that contract overpower muscles that extend and the theory is is that when we come out of the womb we’re perfectly straight and we’re you know everything’s groovy this is just talking about a normal baby there’s lots of babies that aren’t born like that and I happen to have met the guy who discovered the link between human beings and apes and if you think about verticality or you know if you get involved in that that evolutionary conversation and you look at the picture what you’re looking at is the evolution of people standing up straight or called the evolution of verticality so dr. Ochs idea was that we could enhance a person’s body’s relationship to gravity by freeing their body from patterns of tension that they’ve either inherited or they’ve accumulated through the trials and tribulations of life give you one example I was a pretty raucous kid my quit high school joined the army went to Vietnam spent two years there came back nobody said how you’re feeling or anything you want to communicate so half of my squad got killed or wounded so I held all of that stuff in and my very first massage in Big Sur California the woman picked up my arm and kept saying let go and I said I am and she kept wiggling my arm and finally it let go and I understood the distinction tension like as an experience and it was the first time I’d ever let go so there’s a lot that goes on in people’s lives falling off a roofs falling off a bikes all of that stuff that we think we’ve recovered from but we’ve really just buried in our bodies so Rolfing both addresses the stuff that happened to us as well as the bull was there before we’re ever born and if you look in certain I discovered this with working on brain age your kids I would look at the kid and I’d look at the parent I’d see the same postural pattern and so we inherit patterns of posture from our parents or families or culture we inherit behaviors that turn into postures or you could say patterns of tension Japanese people are a little bit more constrained than say somebody in California so all of that if you really study people’s bodies people’s bodies are really a study in behavior and so by working with their bodies and working with their minds you can begin to alter those patterns on people stand up straighter they feel better chronic aches and pains go away they have more confidence and a more self-expressed are some of the results that I produce okay and some of that can be prevented by doing massages an early age oh so pretty much right from the get-go you’re talking about doing massage like day 1 hour 1 sounds good I mean yeah I knew the difference between actually going to a professional versus going to a girlfriend per se you know she’s not going to probably rub you for 60 minutes or 80 to 90 minutes but you guys you’re good have you yeah right you’re not good a vintage she does but you have to do it for 80 or 90 minutes and you know directly someone’s going to get a but wouldn’t well I do want to back up for a second because you mentioned a lot about posture and burying things that you bury in the body from the experience and repeated patterns and I don’t want to gloss over what you had mentioned earlier about in different neighborhoods based off of income that instant instant in sets not being reported and I know there was a big thing in May in the synthesis of homies perspective and the hip-hop community about a year ago there was a pillar of the hip hop community and you know one of his fans or somebody that was under him had come out like 30 years later and said that he was being molested in all this and so there was this argument over statute of limitations to actually go after someone that has physically abused someone so what’s your take on one the statute of limitations are then two changing that cycle because if you’re a little boy or girl and this happens to you you’re probably displaying some of those those characteristics while you’re in school in the public place and you’re pretty much nothing that you’re doomed from the start but there’s characteristics that maybe others don’t know what to look out for well this is a little personal story of my own when I was younger I don’t even remember how old I was but my brother I could never prove that he was gay back in that those days you didn’t even talk about it but he would get in bed with me and and hump me did it like two or three times the third time it was like really serious I got really freaked out I kicked him out of the bed I went on my clock and you know like it was a big walk-in closet and I remember closing the door and just hiding in there for a while and I never told anybody about it I never told my parents and I began to act out in ways that were not all that healthy in my next book that I’m a write about call healing the wounds of war they’re stuff that happened in Vietnam that nobody ever talks about that I’ll be able to talk about in that book and we have just totally glossed over it as a country as a nation as a culture and including what happened in Vietnam so I don’t know about the legal aspect of it but I know that I’ve walked a couple of women who have spent years of being abused and for them it’s not a lot but I’ve always I’ve always known and I I say that the best thing for someone who’s experienced abuse is to find somebody like me who’s a who’s a accomplished practitioner of touch to be able to work with their bodies to have them release that fear or whatever it is they’re holding in from that incident that are holding them down and holding them back and ruining their lives I’ve done that a couple times it’s made a huge difference but there are literally thousands and thousands and thousands of women all over this country where that goes on and if you go into a low-income neighborhood a woman cannot walk around without being sexually harassed just guys on the street hey babe come here I want that so it’s you know same thing in schools so I don’t know the answer to it other than hopefully before I’m dead this whole revolution of parents being in touch with their children talking to them about touch having them experience safe touch healthy touch will empower those kids to stand up for themselves and say cut it out or report the person or do whatever they need to do so that it gets nipped in the bud as you’re talking out thinking about you know in the news in the past couple of years a generation ago is it I remember in kindergarten or first grade oh that’s just a girlfriend that’s so cute right play around 20 in this decade those kids are getting suspended it’s there oh he gave her an innocent kiss but harassment I know as I told you we are I grew up in the 60s where life was a little bit different than it is now and I I don’t know what direction this country is going to go in my best hope is that the problem starts at home and they can end at home and hopefully with my book hands on parenting parents can begin to take a different approach to raising their children I know in my nonprofit organization where we distribute computers to people can’t afford to buy new ones we we have a bunch of people that come there to volunteer they’re great at fixing computers number of them don’t have the best posture in the world and they’re not interested in me giving them a session for free number of during the summer time we have a bunch of teens they come in and some of them can’t you can barely understand what they’re saying because they don’t have the capacity to express themselves and that started to hope now they’re really smart they’re going to go to MIT and they’re probably going to invent something really critical but it’s not necessarily going to leave the meter on the growth and development of humanity and I think that we need to do whatever we can as quickly as possible to create more peace on the planet and less violence a lot of those a lot of kids who grow up in violence it literally affects their brain and what I discovered in writing this book and exploring the subject is that nurturing is one of the least expensive easiest way of growing positive brain cells you know that huh logged in really muttering close it nurturing all you need to do is nurture people yeah and I had some people come into my office yesterday get computers one was a little Hispanic girl her mother doesn’t speak English her mother’s and that affects the mothers behavior so she’s always afraid to say something because she’s not sure she’s saying the right thing and then there was a 13 year old girl and her seven-year-old sister and hopefully just by being with me yesterday we made a difference everybody we distribute a computer to now we also give them a copy of my book oh cool it is so let me ask you usually I’m a big fan of reflexology so if I’m looking for a massage or specifically for reflexology I would do a Google search and find what I want and then you know the transaction what happened what is the difference between a traditional deep tissue massage and Rolfing um the difference between the Eagles and the giant yeah was a losing team and was a winning team so I’ve had well I’m spoiled because I had dr. Rolph work on my body I studied for three years with her son who helped her develop Rolfing and he worked on my body and the difference between them and anybody else I’ve ever had is a difference between day and night day and nights not even provide expression and I’ve had lots of different rompers I’ve had hundreds of different massages and recently I have pain in my neck I’m trying to get rid of and I went to a bunch of different people I mentioned it somebody they said oh I’ve got the perfect person and I went to her last Thursday and it was the touch I’ve been looking for for a long time so not every end and I was thinking about this because I don’t really have a degree and I’ve never taken a course of massage I lost people I brought 4,500 people that might account for some credential I don’t really have a background or any training and early childhood development but my son could read a thousand words by time he was one count to a hundred in English and Spanish and it’s just a function of finding and you know just taking intellectual knowledge will not teach you how to have the right touch and you can learn all the Nerds and all the bones and all the muscles and all that other stuff and still not have the right touch and I don’t know yet because I haven’t taught anybody how to have the right touch but part of it has to do with being connected to yourself your heart and your brain like you got to know what you’re doing you got to be connected to your heart and not every person that I’ve had work on my body is all that connected to all three things at the same time mm-hmm mentally the difference between that rocking rocking massages walking’s not a massage by the way and it’s a program of personal transformation and it has a beginning it has an end it has three parts to it and talk to Rove had a recipe if you study the recipe you follow the recipe produce the results and a lot of people have picked up on deep tissue massage that’s called the technique a lot of people have picked up on something called structural integration some of them are good some of them I don’t know I’d give you two cents for them and and there’s some offers I wouldn’t give you two cents for but I’m apt to change that because I’m going to publish everything I can about Rolfing babies Children and Families I’m going to publish everything I can about massage for babies and children and we’re start producing videos and whatever I could do to train other people what to do and how to do it is what I’m going to do now I have another question for you that you might not have asked okay how do you keep a baby still nagging question it’s a good question right depends on what age they are if it’s in the very beginning it’s not a problem because they’re not sitting up they’re not rolling over they’re not moving around you can pretty much well do whatever you want and but if if they’re like be up beyond a year old and I’m working on them a year old two years three years what I do is we have something called cell phones we have something called video games or video learning programs or video music programs or something like that you give a kid a video a cell phone and they’ll just sit there and watch it and then they’ll let you do whatever you want and really I just finished these two twins or two and a half years old and that’s they looked at their iPad for the whole 10 sessions and then it just makes it very easy you also have to get there the kids agreement so I seldom ever work on parents on kids I haven’t worked with their parents so the parents know what I’m doing and their parents have had some experience of having a massage themselves so if you’re a parent and you’ve never had a massage I would recommend before you try to massage your child go get a massage from somebody so you have some idea of what the experience is you’re trying to translate to your child some occasions now in total sense and it makes me think like you said if women if there’s a reluctance or they haven’t gotten it done let’s just say 30% of the women that you can countered you can easily double or triple that from a from the male’s perspective so you know what approaches have you done to get the out reach out to the fathers well my book has just gotten published about two weeks ago I’ve just started sending it I’ve just started sending it out I’m going to go back to my office a little bit and send out another 40 copies to different people and after the first of the year I’m going to be following up and you may have heard the expression putting the pedal to the metal um that’s just what I’m going to I’m going to I’m going to go everywhere I can let’s see here’s a problem I’m pretty clear that there’s a lot of people that are the head of early childhood development programs that have never had a massage so they don’t put they don’t tie intelligence early childhood you know cognitive development with massage but tension affects the way you think and a lack of tension empowers how you think I’m roughing this little kid now he’s about 12 years old and he was beat up pretty much by his sister for the first couple years of his life because she had a disorder and she was at home and he’s pretty traumatized traumatized kid and when he’s now about 12 and I met him and he sweetest kid you ever want to meet but has virtually no self-expression and a very limited vocabulary so what I’m doing I’ve never done this before but what I’m doing with every one of his rocking sessions he has to come back with five new words and every time he does and he starts telling me the words you can see this little beam of light coming over this kids whole body so there’s ways that you can there’s a wave we will have a link on our website hands on parenting org that gives people access to early learning tools and you can download them you can use them as splash cards and you can incorporate them in your massage and so you could do things like print out flashcards that teach your kid parts of their writing my thumb and finger and hand and arm and when you make a connection but when you see it and you say it and you met you experience it then it becomes knowledge not just memory so there’s lots of things that people can do they aren’t doing how do I know they’re not doing it in Philadelphia alone there are 400 elementary schools in those 400 elementary schools 7 out of 10 children cannot read write or do math proficiently now is that the school’s fault partially but that problem started at home and that’s where it needs end and it’s just as simple as massaging your kid’s hand and counting 1 2 3 4 5 fingers and then counting the other hand 6 7 8 9 10 and then counting the toes 15 20 and you tonic it multiplication you taught them addition and you begun to teach them numbers but it’s all a function of talking to your children like they’re intelligent and the more you do that the more smarter they’ll good week end of 2018 Robert and pedal to the metal I was just thinking about partnering partnerships into some some places like if I want to go to a chiropractor being a cover insurance and then they may have a massage therapist in their office so after they’ve had gotten structured or you know had their chiropractic session they usually get position to the massage therapist have you thought about partnering with the with that community to spread the word about walking I haven’t want to be honest with you I haven’t gotten that far yet for the last 20 years and I’ve devoted at least half of my time and energy to collecting repairing and distributing low-cost refurbished tutors to people that can’t afford to buy new ones and you might someone might say well why do you do that and I say well if you everybody that gets a computer from me has to write a letter and if you know how to read a letter and you know how to read between the lines they tell you about the stress and tension in their lives because they don’t have a computer and they don’t have computers at home they can’t get their homework done they’re failing they can’t communicate with their with their schools the parents can’t find social services on Pavao so anyway my I’m a big advocate or as I said early childhood development and my son could buy time is two and a half turn a computer on teach himself whatever you want to learn he knew how to use a keyboard knew all the letters could now I did videotape this for those who are listening and don’t believe that it is possible and he did know the keyboard he played we arrived at math rabbit language express about every learning learning company program you could imagine and I associate made sure that I associated learning with fun and not pressuring him and he took on learning and having fun he’s now 30 only he’ll be 30 tomorrow and so I’ve been wrapped up in this computer project for the last 20 years I run this big 8,000 square foot warehouse it’s underfunded understaffed and has taken a fair amount of my time and energy and now that I’ve got the book out I’m beginning to refocus what I want to do with my life one of the things I want to do is to keep the product the computer project going because it’s I think we’re providing a critical resource to the community and I think it’s a shame that there are so few people like me around the country doing this we haven’t even begun to address the digital divide in this country forget about broadband and all that other stuff just having devices in people’s homes it’s ridiculous a woman came to me yesterday got a computer she said she works at day care center and they have no computers so we also have early learning software that we’re going to make available on our website hands on parenting org so I haven’t I haven’t the question about if I thought about I thought about partnering with everybody in the world but so far I’m a little bit further out than you should say you could say most average ralpherz most average massage therapists most early childhood educators so I learned to Vietnam how to be a point man how to go first how to clear out the jungle and so I’m working on clearing out the morass of humanity to making room for some more intelligence more love more peace more power and next year I you know I have no idea where I’m going to go who I’m going to see but I’m going to go everywhere I can and see everybody I can and everybody I can get this book in front of that’s what I’m interested in doing so there’s anybody listening and they want more information you can feel free to contact me on my website now that’s great looking at at hands on parenting org and under you learn more tab you do have videos so it’ll be really interesting to kind of check back in periodically to see all the latest new videos that you upload so people can get more educated about what you have to offer it give you a I’m holding my breath today there’s a family that I work with and I wrought the mother and father their parents four of their children when they were babies they all grew up and had babies and children their daughter is becoming a nurse at NYU their youngest son loves being rocked his wife got R oft jeder advanced sessions and the two or three days after the baby was born before they had the bris he asked me to come over off the baby so that baby has now had 14 sessions his wife’s having another baby sometime this week or next week and I’m sure that as soon as they have the baby they’re going to call me up and say come over and let’s rock that baby so that’s four generations of families that I’ve touched just in that one family and there’s other ones so I’m a big fan of getting to is getting to as many people as deeply as you can and those videos will actually go up some of them if people just google my name on YouTube Robert – pork on YouTube they can find ton of videos on ralphing babies and children perfect okay Robert how long is typically a session hopefully session with the child as opposed to an adult or is it the same amount of time now newborn babies take 15 to 20 minutes at the most a toddler takes about a half an hour maybe 35 minutes 40 minutes at the most adults usually take 45 minutes to an hour and I just finished two little boys they were twin boys they were two and a half years old I’m working on two african-american twins I started them when they were 6 days old showed all the pads um I just finished all thing like seven or eight people and every one of them the results were just ridiculously and I think I’m getting the more I practice the better I get I finished a woman yesterday and I was just astounded not yesterday Friday and I videotape and photograph everybody before and after because if you just went around the planet one day and videotape people they like take a hundred people and you say you know tell me about yourself your body your life and then you went back a year later their stories may not have changed but everybody would have had a story by the time I finish for golfing somebody by the time those ten sessions are over their stories have totally changed make this woman she said you know I’m getting older and full of aches and pains I don’t want to get up I don’t want to go anywhere I don’t want to do anything and at session ten I was like I don’t know I just feel great nothing hurts I’ve got a lot of energy and I feel happy so and that shows up in the video interview so I don’t know that there’s very many people on the planet that have as extensively videotaped and photograph people’s personal transformation through having their bodies work done and see when you go when you become when you’re when you go get a massage you don’t usually go for a series of sessions and it doesn’t usually have a beginning and an end to it now I haven’t studied all the massage programs in the world I’m sure there are some that are like that but I know that the way dr. Rolph setup Ruffing was that it is that way and and there’s specific things that get worked on in every session and I use that model in the book hands-on parenting so each chapter deals with a different part of the body and how that part of the body relates to some area of life for instance your chest and shoulders have to do with holding things in or letting things go so when you open up you literally sit up straighter when you’re holding things in you usually crouched over and one of the things I noticed is that parents love to give their children everything they can but have no concern whatsoever for their posture their posture either their body or their posture in their life so I’m hoping that this book begins to change that and that we begin to look at kids from my whole holistic perspective instead of just their brains or just their talent or ba-ba-ba and I’ve now been doing this long enough that I have police of long term documentation on some kids that I brought two of them were twins twin girls both of them became state champion gymnast they grew up they went to Temple University they both studied film and they’re both working in the film industry and from time to time they come and do videotapes for me it’s pretty cool in it yeah I didn’t know those babies perfect I know those babies would turn out like that oh and they and they both want their boyfriends to get robbed and neither one of them are able to convince her boyfriends yet to do that what about the other side for the type-a folks that you taught you want to get them from first learning about laughing to ultimately doing the tenth sessions is it a possibility to combine sessions no I mean you could but I don’t okay any particular reason I’m just a religious Roper and dr. Rolph would probably stab me in the back if I was trying to do that you have any experiences working with autistic children Robert I have actually not autism per se but kids in the Asperger’s syndrome I was working on this one kid I actually have to call him up and see what happens he disappeared after session 8 he was volunteering on a regular basis and I haven’t seen him in a while and I haven’t had to wear with all the calling but I’ll finish him it was making a big difference and I’m working on this kid now who’s 30 he’s in the Asperger syndrome he was was hospitalized for depression and he’s a diabetic and the best job he ever had was just working in a store as a shelving clerk and he didn’t have a job and he wanted to get in the world of computers so he came and started volunteering with me and his ability to think if you tell him what to do he’ll do it after would he if after he’s done that he can’t look around and see what’s wanted to need it do you know what I’m saying yeah I’m beginning to train him to be able to look around and see what’s wanted and needed and do what’s wanted it needed instead of just what we tell him to do oh I’m saying and there’s a another kid that works with me he’s in the Asperger syndrome and does not want me to touch him and this is what I want to say there’s more than one way to touch a person other than putting your hands on them so you could use touch as a metaphor for how to have an impact on someone so what I’ve done with this guy I have a Technology Director and we parted ways of number of months ago and this guy Matt um he would say you know Matt’s having a good day Matt’s having a bad day but but but I had a conversation with Matt I said Matt it’s going to be time to step up the gamer plan are you interested in my coaching even though you’re not interested it might be in Rupp my specifically roughing it so I used distinctions of self-expression taking a stand moving in a new direction having more vitality and he’s been picking up on that and on both him and the souther kid are helping me run my nonprofit organization for last couple months miraculous there’s a young woman with Down syndrome she was profoundly Down syndrome and this is about 23 years ago I roughed her I met her mother at a program in just until that works with kids with developmental challenges and I said hey if you want to have exponential results with your daughter you’ll ever get R often do another program that I know about called Landmark Education so they happen to be wealthy enough to be able to afford that the mother got robbed the father got robbed the grandparents got robbed to kick out they did all these other programs that I recommended and then after about two years they knockdown went to my went to Florida I lost touch with him I called him up a couple years ago so so glad you called us and when she left she left with a possibility that her daughter was going to go to harbor so when I called her had a little trepidation because I didn’t know how it turned out and um I said how’s Lauren she said well so glad you called she didn’t graduate Harvard but she is graduating a small College here in Palm Beach little Christian College her major is theatre and dance I said no way and she did and now she lives in Ohio she’s married she drives a car and she started her own company called baskets of love or something like that so my whole point in mostly everything I’ve done up until now is to get to the point where I can get my hands on babies in incubators newborn babies that are having a critical time in life that’s where ultimately I think I can make the best difference and I think it just take it takes a certain kind of touch and knowledge that as best I can tell does it particularly exist on the planet at the moment because as best I can tell it’s not a widespread idea however every Children’s Hospital and the United States will get a copy of my book and we’ll take it from there and you guys will say a prayer wish me luck oh absolutely and you did mention I mean there’s a ton of benefits from from your examples you talked about some changes in social development changing their poise on their posture and that’s been fantastic are there any downsides though any disadvantages to massage to children or younger babies I have a found one nor can I imagine one now somebody might argue with that but if they have as much experience working with babies and children as I do I’ll be more than happy to have that conversation with them but I haven’t found any any downside to it children are just starving to be touched to be loved to be appreciated and to be acknowledged that’s what I found yeah I don’t care how much money they have or how little money they have all they want to do is be known I have a hundred gifts I had a bunch of kids in my office yesterday from low-income families three kids that were taken out of foster care and a woman is raising them herself and it was just just the cutest kid you ever one meet now did you also mention that you steer some of your patients to landmark education are you a part of landmark I being a part of it isn’t exactly the right word because there’s no such thing as being a part of it I’ve been adductor vault it used to be called the Earhart seminar training and dr. Roth took that training and Werner Erhard cut Roth Werner started recommending rocking to everybody that he was training dr. all-star recommending the Landmark Forum or the S training to everybody she was training and most of the people in her early cert in that circle at the time actually did that with me when I took her class it was a requirement before I went any further that I stay in Santa Monica and take the Australian I didn’t want to do it I ain’t think I needed it I thought they were crazy and I I took it the purpose I the reason I took it was to demonstrate that didn’t work I didn’t need it I was right in the first place that didn’t work out too well because I was sitting there the first morning with my arms crossed looking around the room judging and evaluating everybody in the room and the guy who was leading the course there was a woman that kept jumping up and down and arguing with him and he said I just remember this really clear he said lady why don’t you just sit down unfold your arms and see what’s possible so I looked her I said Wow nobody know I don’t know anybody here nobody knows where I’m going to get anything out of it or not I don’t have to say anything as soon as possible and from that moment on you could say that my life transformed had I not and then dr. Rolph son came out to me out to California more or less rescued me inviting me to come to his house in New Jersey spend three months studying with him which I did and during that period of time I found out that his mother lived in Blackwood New Jersey which was not very far away and that she was always asking him to do this and do that and bah-bah-bah go here and go there I said doc I’ll take all that off your plate she said fine he’s coming in and about a week or so go pick her up at the airport so I did and I said hi doctor remember me and she kind of gave me that look she asked I said I got good news for you I’m going to be your East Coast business manager she said is that so do you have $5 get my bag so because I had $5 to go to bag and on the way home she said by the way Bob she called me about I need a secretary and she had one the next day and for the next four years I was her East Coast business manager I traveled around with her I went places did things set up her final classes the last year of her life she was in my house too almost every day and had I not completed all my anger at my mother and my parents and my past and I could have never had the kind of relationship with that that or with her that I did which is pretty different than what most offers talk about how tough she was an uncle we didn’t have that conversation we just had a like hey you’re the master on the student what do you need and then I’ve been purchased and then I came back to Philadelphia I ended up working Roth Eggman Earhart’s parents and I brought a bunch of the leaders of Landmark Education and lots of participants I’ve had lots of people that I’ve raw take the Landmark Forum so I’m a big advocate of that well the big advocate for whatever makes a difference whatever rocks your boat that’s what you should do now that’s good feedback I didn’t never connected the two with the law thing in the Landmark Forum I didn’t either as precisely but I do and I did in the book and I had a book coach who who asked me a question he said who’s the first kid you ever rocked I thought about it it was dr. Ross grandson so her son dick felt he was too mostly tied to his children they were like 12 or 13 at the time and he didn’t have the space to work on them the way he wanted to so he asked me to so I wrote I draw that kid all the way through ten sessions I did some work on the other kids I’ve done some work on our grandchildren and our great-grandchildren one thing I like about your site is that for people that are so new to this I mean be talking about well thing you’re talking about all the benefits and you’re talking about the benefits of child and baby massage and on your site you you’re promoting your book but you can you give out the first chapter so people can learn more about that we’re almost at the top of the our site I do want to give you some time to talk about your book on Amazon and your sites and your general promotion if you’d like to right now well it’s a great book you can purchase the e-book either through Amazon or through my site we’re going to start creating blocks there’s a free first chapter just that first chapter alone can transform how somebody thinks about raising their babies or children and we’re going to add those as I said I only got the book published a couple weeks ago I got my website the second part done last week I’m not done putting everything in there up there I want to I recently published an article on roughing babies Children and Families that was published in the loft Institute’s Journal and it’s going to go up on that site I want the book I love the idea that it can make a difference I love the idea of being able to get it to every parent in every parent’s pants and them using their hands to create a new way of relating to their children I was with someone for Thanksgiving and it was I couldn’t figure out when I came back people said how was Thanksgiving and I said on a scale of one to ten I was a five but it was really worse than that and there was no love in that family I was with that day except for one woman that I know and I just really realized that how important it love is just a magical thing you know we hear all the songs about the magic of love and touches them is a great way you just hold somebody’s hand give them a hug Pat them on the back do something physical with your child and it will make a difference in how they grow up how they relate to you how they respect you and how you respect them I have that relationship on my son he’s 30 years old asking Lee for his birthday and he said nothing and I said when you were growing up I gave you everything I could didn’t I he said you did and it doesn’t matter if you have a lot of money as long as you can give your kid everything you got everything of you that you can give them is what will make a difference and how you relate to erase your babies your children well said well said again you have been in tune to another episode of intrinsic motivation from my homies perspective we the honor of interviewing Robert Tim Park who is the author of handle on parenting a practical guide to massage for healthier happier smarter kids with that I am Hamza and I am David and we think equally properly Robert we appreciate it thank you very much it was a great interview and I appreciate you giving me the time thank you go Eagles have a good holiday thank you [Music] thanks again for checking out another episode of intrinsic motivation from our homeless perspective podcast please check us out on our website at intrinsic motivation dot life where you can click on the speak pipe button and leave any suggestions for a future podcast that you like us to cover also check us out on our social media sites we have a YouTube channel Facebook page iTunes podcast in addition to stitcher and Google Play all under intrinsic motivation from a homeys perspective check you out next time have a great day